On Wednesday I had the chance to be an honorary coach for the Tennessee team in the first game of the Tennessee-Georgia Classic all-star softball doubleheader at Frost Stadium.

Tennessee won 2-0, thanks in large part to Ooltewah’s Holly Thomas working the first five innings and pitching no-hit ball. That, and I was the pitching coach, or at least declared myself as such.

Word must’ve spread quickly that I was going to be part of the festivities. The crowd was the largest in the 11-year history of the event.

I had hoped to flash a little leather and show off my throwing arm during warm-ups, but everyone conveniently brought one glove and didn’t have a spare. I was hoping to warm up with GPS first baseman Jessica Phillips. She’s good at snagging wide throws and digging low ones out of the dirt. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.

Before the game, we lined up along the first-base line as public-address announcer Red Zone Ron Hall introduced each team’s players and coaches. Of course, I was a fan favorite.

Not surprisingly I proved to be a big help to my fellow coaches, Ooltewah’s Norma Nelson and GPS’s Susan Crownover. Among my chores was writing substitutions on the lineup card, throwing away gum wrappers and answering the dugout phone when calls came from the pressbox. I thought it might throw them off when I answered: “Pizza home delivery,” but it didn’t.

Another of my duties was representing the team for the coin flip at the umpire’s pregame meeting at home plate.

“Blah, blah, blah,” home-plate umpire Barry Young said, or something like that, explaining the ground rules of the park.

I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy giving Lakeview-Fort Oglethorpe and Georgia coach Tony Ellis my best prize-fighter staredown.

After Young declined my modest monetary offer to be fair and see things our way throughout the game, I returned to the dugout for the start of the game.

I took it upon myself to work closely with our catcher, Ooltewah’s Kaitlin Neil. After Thomas completed her warm-up pitches, I got Neil’s attention and signaled: Right index finger to chin, then to nose, to right ear, back to chin, then finishing with a quick brush of the front of the shirt.

Undaunted by my complicated set of indicators, signs and decoys, she called the pitch. The hard-throwing Thomas gyrated through her windup and let fly with a fastball that apparently was right down the middle for a ball.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!,” I screamed at Young (in my head).

Thomas persisted onward and ended up striking out the first batter. Using a changeup that I would claim as unfair if I was on the other side, Thomas closed out the top of the first inning with her second strikeout on the way to 10 in the game.

The runs we scored in the bottom of the first inning were all we got, but hey, they were all we needed. The only baserunner Thomas allowed was a leadoff walk to Ridgeland’s Kendall Bruning in the fifth.

GPS’s Megan Wagner pitched the final two innings. She allowed singles to LFO’s Carrie Grier and Dade County’s Christine Core in the sixth, but our iron-clad defense held. It’s what we do.

As a newspaper reporter, I’ve covered softball in the Chattanooga area for almost 20 years. This, however, was my first look at a game from the inside perspective of one team.

I was exposed to many interworkings that usually remains priviledged information. I knew Kamri Chester, a right-handed cleanup batter for GPS, was going to leadoff and bat left-handed for a change and try to bunt. I knew the steal sign.

I also now know what movies teenage girls want to attend this summer, where to get a good deal on nail polish, and which body part to have pierced if I want in on the latest craze.

All things considered, the few hours spent with the Tennessee all-stars was a fun experience. It also confirmed what I already knew. When it comes to coaching, I can’t be that bad of a sports writer.

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