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Matinee Melee: Patrick's pretty, but 'Made of Honor' is groaner, chockful of cliches

By: Holly Leber
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By: Sean Phipps

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Holly Leber: Patrick Dempsey gets the girl. Oh shoot, did I just give away the ending? No matter — if you can read this article, you’ll be able to predict the end of the movie from watching the trailer. That’s a given. But I thought maybe, maybe there would be some small twist, some element that wasn’t entirely predictable, some cliche left unturned, and did it happen? Of course not. Friends, there’s a man on horseback. Two, actually. Two horses, two men, not two men on one horse’s back. Sean, take this please?

Sean Phipps: So, you weren’t impressed? I was surprised, actually, and a bit impressed, that this movie could abuse as many cliches as they were able to in such little time. What I wasn’t expecting was the outrageous setting of Scotland and the cringe-worthy plays on stereotypes. To me, it just seemed way too easy. I felt like I’d seen this movie a hundred times already. But then again, I LOVE my improbable romantic-comedies. Who should see this movie, Holly?

Holly: You’ve got to be impervious to hackneyed cliche in order to appreciate “Made of Honor.”

I’m generally a fan of romantic comedy. Even entirely predictable romantic comedy. I love the sweet, touching ‘awww’ moments. “Enchanted,” another recent Dempsey vehicle, did, in fact, enchant me. This movie just made me groan.

Dempsey’s Tom is a Type-A metrosexual, a toxic coiffed New York bachelor who whines when one of his conquests orders fried dumplings instead of steamed. And he’s basically a jerk unless he’s with best gal pal Hannah (Michelle Monaghan — rent “Gone Baby Gone”).

It takes her going to Scotland, sheep and all, for him to realize his feelings after 10 years? This movie does nothing to promote male emotional intelligence.

Sean: Well, I think the women that are going to see this movie (and they will ... in droves) are going to love it. Sure, it does “nothing to promote male emotional intelligence,” but I’ll bet Patrick Dempsey on horseback will make up for the movie’s lack of social intelligence.

Monaghan’s character, Hannah, shouldn’t be let off the hook either. Her credibility was in tact for much of the first half of the movie. I was actually applauding her ability to put up with Dempsey’s antics. Who else had the gumption to do that? Then she goes and falls for Colin (Kevin McKidd) because he saved her from a herd of sheep in a rainstorm? Bah! Someone should be punished for making this movie.

Holly: Oh, the knight in shining tartan. He looked like a pasty Ken doll on steroids, didn’t he? One of his stellar moments really emphasized the fact that you can only get away with anything resembling a serenade if a) you’re John Cusack and b) you’re holding a boom box over your head. He definitely reminded me why I believe in long courtships.

But I think you’re giving women far too little credit. Some of us aren’t so Jell-O-kneed over “McDreamy” (someone explain that one to me, please) that we’d forgive the entirely bromidic nature of this film.

Sean, I feel like we’re kicking the dead horse here. Is there anything positive you can say about “Made of Honor?”

Sean: What?...sorry, I was thinking about Patrick Dempsey. Considering what happened at the Kentucky Derby, I’m not sure I want to go the “kicking the dead horse” route, but I agree that we’ve said our piece. If you’re planning on seeing “Made of Honor” I would suggest staying home and renting “Say Anything” instead. Holly is right. That is a GOOD romantic comedy. If it’s too late, and you find yourself in the theater, fake an illness. You’ll be glad you did. Agree?

Holly: Well, if sticking it out gives your night a romantic ending, by all means. Here’s the thing — the leads worked well together. The chemistry was really nice. The script was bad. And if nothing else, I’m grateful that Dempsey was not going “traditional” during the scenes where they shot up his kilt.

Sean: I had to see “Iron Man” this weekend just to get my testosterone levels back on track. I can’t recommend this movie.

REVIEWED THIS WEEK

Film: “Made of Honor”

What it’s about: A serial dater falls for his closest friend as she plans her wedding to a Scottish nobleman.

Stars: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan

Rating: PG-13