Because I’m over a “certain” age, I subscribe to a few AARP services. Additionally, as a consumer advocate, I’m always searching for updated relevant information that may prove beneficial to my readers.

Aarp.org affords us some smarter shopping solutions for 2009; several are simply common sense methods (which we sometimes ignore), while others pose provocative situations that really make us think. Even though we’re four months into 2009, we’ve a long eight months to go and, by following some of AARP’s tips, the financial crunch might ease off just a tad.

1. Pretend you’re a monkey. Yep, you heard me — one of those smart little monkeys that “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” (The “evil” happens to be products or services that someone who’s inventive in outrageous promises pressures us to buy.)

I don’t care if the salesperson swears only five items remain or that this deal lasts only through today. Walk away. I have yet to discover any “deal” invented that absolutely cannot be reduced, reevaluated or reassigned. And if any should come down through the pike, be sure to check all references carefully, closely study all documentation, and understand any pitfalls that might result from an inferior product or a shoddy service.

Avoid high pressure sales like the plague. Be a monkey.

2. Never ever pay for services in advance. I preach this lesson myself and, in fact, have illustrated in Consumer Watch columns various scenarios to avoid, such as prepaying for contracting work, dating services, moving companies, travel agents, Web design, plastic surgery, home improvements — paying the total upfront often leads to heartache as well as a botched job. Pay attention.

These services and others aren’t always manned by such unscrupulous creeps and definitely number in the minority. On the other hand, these professions commonly fall within the top consumer complaint categories, often because of dishonest practices. Be careful.

3. Practice makes perfect. Let’s take something sizeable and a product that most purchasers wouldn’t dream of experimenting with: a new mattress and box springs. Once you’ve completed initial research and narrowed the choices down to manufacturer, type, and locations, then off you go. Experts tell us to roll around on a prospective buy, toss and turn, upside down and right side up. Take it a step further.

After all, not only should a mattress and box springs last about 10 years, it also should allow us many nights of restful sleep. So shoo away the salesperson and take a nap right there in the store. Even better, ask for a test drive.

A week’s worth of practice in your own bedroom can determine whether or not you need to continue shopping. Include other areas in your test “drive,” such as a new car, a bottle of shampoo newly on the market, a lawnmower, some spring flowers, a cleaning service, or almost any other product or service we wish to sanction. Just be perfectly sure you understand all the terms of the return agreement.

4. In writing, please. And speaking of ... whenever I hop on my soapbox, I stress all formal deals must be in written form to protect the parties.

Regardless of the other person’s honesty, regardless of whether you’ve spent loads of money over the years with this company, regardless of your haste to hurry to another appointment, regardless of any and everything — do not accept any verbal assurance whatsoever.

(And once the agreement is written down and signed by Sarah Seller, take it home and read every word, even the tiny fine print. Make sure “Sarah” clarifies all potential misunderstandings before affixing your John Henry and ditch any contractual scrap about which you don’t agree.) Frankly, if the transaction isn’t important enough to write down, then its promise isn’t important enough to keep.

It’s your word against that of the seller, and the customer isn’t always right.

Ellen Phillips is a retired English teacher who has written two consumer-oriented books. Her Consumer Watch column appears on Saturdays in the Business section of the paper. An expanded version is at www.timesfreepress.com under Local Business. E-mail her at consumerwatch@timesfreepress.com