I have a new favorite television show: “Lie to Me.”
The show, on the Fox network (Wednesday, 9 p.m.), is about a body-language expert named Dr. Cal Lightman (played by British actor Tim Roth).
In the show, Dr. Lightman is a human polygraph machine. Police, intelligence agencies, companies and individuals hire him to spot liars.
The television character is based on a real psychologist, Dr. Paul Ekman, a retired University of California professor. Dr. Ekman is an expert on facial expression. He studies muscle movements in the human face that show anger, disgust, fear, joy, sadness and surprise.
Once you learn about these so-called “micro-expressions,” it’s hard to go through a day without applying them to family, friends and co-workers.
All this body-language stuff is nothing new to parents. If you’ve got kids, you automatically become a behavioral scientist.
Off the top of my head, here are a few examples of baby body language:
Action: Baby yanks earlobe.
Interpretation: Ear infection. My crystal ball says you will be up at 2 a.m. with a screaming child.
Action: Baby walks behind your La-Z-Boy and strikes a yoga-like “chair” pose.
Interpretation: Grab the Pampers, explosion to follow.
Action: While strapped into a car seat, baby removes left shoe and bounces it off your head.
Interpretation: Your baby hates you. (Don’t worry, this is a toddler’s way of practicing to be a door-slamming teenager.)
Action: Baby bites you on the wrist.
Interpretation: This is a sign your child is not getting enough red meat. Give your baby a cube steak.
Action: Baby shoves green peas in his nose.
Interpretation: Baby aspires to middle-management.
Action: Older brother cracks baby over the head with plastic light saber.
Interpretation: Whatever you do, do not believe the older sibling’s story that the baby intentionally “broke the toy with his head.”
Action: Baby opens mouth and emits an ear-splitting scream.
Interpretation: Don’t worry. Babies sometimes scream for recreation, like 10-year-old girls at a Jonas Brothers concert.
Action: Baby lies down on his back and throws his feet back over his head.
Interpretation: Don’t be fooled. This is a boy baby’s idea of a practical joke. Once you slip off his diaper, he’ll hose you down like a $3 car wash.
E-mail Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com
