Paula Deen, Stacy London launch She Expo this weekend

She, a new expo for women sponsored by the Times Free Press, launches Saturday in the Chattanooga Convention Center with two television celebrities headlining the event.

"What Not To Wear" fashion expert Stacy London will be checking out Chattanooga's style on Saturday. And hey, y'all! Paula Deen will be cooking and chatting with Sunday afternoon's audience to close the event.

She offers one-stop shopping and information on a wide variety of topics for women. There will be fun (the Chattanooga firemen's show) and fundraising (Susan G. Komen for the Cure.)

Chatter magazine stylist Kim Coulter will lead a fashion show each day on must-have looks for the season. Or, if you're counting pennies, check out one of the couponing workshops to find out how to get a bigger bang for your bucks.

More than 80 vendors will offer visitors the chance to sample new products or purchase their products, according to Angela Doggett, events manager of the Times Free Press.

Mayfield Dairy will offer ice cream samples, and McKee Foods will give out snack cakes. Visitors can sip a sample of McDonald's new coffee or munch some Frito-Lay freebies.

You can even get a mammogram while you're there.

Memorial's Mobile Health Coach will be on-site for women who make appointments to get their annual mammogram. Appointments must be scheduled by today by calling 495-4040.

At Memorial's Oasis of Health, guests will be able to ask primary-care doctors any medical questions they're concerned about, take a bone density test or a balance screening. Memorial's Mole Patrol will check visitors' skin discolorations in a private screening area.

After checking everything out, a stop by the Best Sole booth will be in order to soothe your feet with a purchase of massaging insoles.

If You Go

* What: She: An Expo for Women.

* When: 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

Saturday, noon-6 p.m. Sunday.

* Where: Chattanooga Convention Center, 1 Carter Plaza.

* Two-day ticket: $20 if

purchased today, $25 at the door; $10 children

6-12.

* Web site: www.timesfree

press.com.

SAMPLE OF PRODUCTS FOR SALE

* Best Sole: massaging insoles

* BKW: bottles of seasoning

* Bon Appetite Bistro: cookbooks, spices and sauces

* Coal Creek Candles: soy candles

* Cookies by Design: cookie on a stick

* Glam Slam: jewelry

* Rug Rack: Paula Deen rugs

* SAS: shoes, handbags

* Tim Bryant Interiors: purses, jewelry, candles

* 25th Hour Spa: Bare Escentuals mineral makeup

SATURDAY¹S SCHEDULE

* MEMORIAL STAGE

Noon. Chef Jernard Wells, ³The Art of Love² cooking demonstration

Noon-1 p.m. Stacy London autograph signing

2:30 p.m. Stacy London¹s fashion presentation

4 p.m. Memorial Health Care System¹s panel discussion: ³Aging Is Not for the

Faint of Heart²

* CHATTER STAGE

11:15 a.m. Fashion Frames fashion show by Kim Coulter

1:30 p.m. Susan G. Komen survivor fashion show

5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Firemen¹s show

* TIMES FREE PRESS STAGE

Noon. Memorial Health Care System panel discussion ³Between a Rock and a

Hard Place²

1 p.m. Memorial Health Care System panel discussion ³When Being a Red-Hot

Mama Is Not a Good Thing²

3:45 p.m. Time 2 Save couponing workshop

4:45 p.m. Memorial Health Care System panel discussion: ³Financial Health

for Women²

SUNDAY¹S SCHEDULE

* MEMORIAL STAGE

1 p.m. Memorial Health Care System panel discussion: ³When Being a Red-Hot

Mama Is Not a Good Thing²

1-2:45 p.m. Paula Deen autograph signing

4:30 p.m. Paula Deen cooking demonstration

* CHATTER STAGE

12:15 p.m. Fashion Notes fashion show by Kim Coulter

3 p.m. Chattanooga Firemen¹s fashion show

* TIMES FREE PRESS STAGE

Noon. Memorial Health Care System panel discussion: ³Financial Health for

Women.²

2:15 p.m. Time 2 Save couponing workshop.

Fashion backward

To celebrate Stacy London’s visit, the newsroom staff has compiled this list of ways to tell that your personal style meets Chattanooga standards.

Mix and match:

* Your solid orange shirt matches your solid orange shorts, and you’re not even a Vols fan.

* Your saggy drawers match your gang colors.

* You wear more lace at 50 than you did on your wedding night at 25.

* You own Crocs in every color

* You have a ball cap for every day of the month.

* You have a hard time matching white socks when they come out of the dryer.

* You think cowboy boots and miniskirts go together like cornbread and buttermilk.

* All of your good shirts have a number on the pocket.

* You see nothing remotely contradictory about black curduroy shorts.

* You think camo is a color.

* You have enough camo pieces to mix-and-match.

Dressing up:

* You own “everyday” and “Sunday” overalls.

* You wear your Lookouts rather than your Hooters cap to church.

* You can wear chiffon and pearls or cutoffs and flip-flops to Nightfall, and be in style either way.

* Everyday attire requires either a belt or suspenders to hold up your pants. Getting dressed up means wearing both suspenders and a belt to hold up your pants.

* You've used a Bedazzler to decorate the Skoal ring on your jeans.

Take another look in the mirror:

* You think capri pants are appropriate when your calves are as big as your thighs.

* You’ve ironed out the crease of a cigarette package from the rear pocket of your dungarees.

* You wear a bra with your tube top.

* You wear a tube top.

* You don’t feel completely dressed until you’re rocking a muffintop, whale tail, possum noses and a camel toe.

Shopping spree:

* You think Wal-Mart is for everyday fashion while Target is haute couture.

* You think Glam Slam is a wrestling move.

Body art:

* You have more tattoos than fingers and toes.

* You think it’s OK to wear a tank top even if it exposes the tattoo you got in prison.

* You feel overdressed in your wifebeater cause it hides your latest tat.

Putting on the pounds:

* Before you down one roll at O’Charley’s, your fellow eaters can count yours by looking at what you’ve worn.

* You’re still wearing maternity clothes when the baby starts teething.

* You wear tight tank tops to show off how good Southern cooking is.

About your hair:

* You’re still wearing the butt-cut (men’s hairstyle parted down the middle).

* Your bangs are higher than Jon Bon Jovi’s in the ’80s.

Fashion ingenuity:

* All your clothing has pockets — so you have a place to keep your gun.

* You’ve used duct tape and/or staples to hem your pants.

* You paint only the toenails that show through your sandals.

* You cut a hole in the bottom of a trash bag for a rain poncho.

* You duct tape or super glue your shoes when the soles separate from the bottom.

* You’ve used old Jockey underwear to make halter tops.

* You use a rubber band to span the gap between button and buttonhole on your too-tight pants.

* You’ve reattached a heel with tub spackling.

* You hang your fingers out the car’s sunroof to speed-dry a new manicure.

* You recycle ragged T-shirts into do-rags.

Pledging allegiance:

* You have Lynyrd Skynryd T-shirts from every tour.

* Every T-shirt you own advertises an event (and you got it for free).

* Your favorite nailpolish color is “Vols orange.”

* Your fashion icon is Dolly.

* You’ve got Volunteer orange shorts to match your UT jersey.

* You wear your favorite SEC football team apparel everywhere.

* Your maternity bra has U on one cup, T on the other.