When I first visited the festival grounds this year, one thing that immediately caught my eye was just how many of the mobile exhibits were corralled together under the Olgiati Bridge.

In what was perhaps an unintentional theme, the Playstation Experience and Army buses, Sensodyne Dental Health Spa and the Navy’s flight simulator were clustered there around the Texas On Tour exhibit like wagons on an asphalt prairie.

Coming back to the festival Thursday after two days off, that seemed like a good area to do my annual tour of the mobile units. I’ve evaluated my experience for your reading pleasure.

(Author’s note: The Playstation Experience bus was nowhere to be found, so it wasn’t included.)

The Army’s Apache helicopter simulator

* In a nutshell: A video screen and hydraulic-equipped cockpit recreates the experience of flying an attack helicopter.

* Registration required?: Yes. You have to answer questions about everything from your weight to your parents’ military participation.

* Time Commitment: Depends. The helicopter simulation supposedly lasts about two minutes. The roller coaster takes about 45 seconds, which is about half as long as it takes to strap in and be lifted up by the hydraulics.

* Overall enjoyment: Medium. When I rode it, the helicopter simulation was malfunctioning, so instead of manually flying a helicopter, I rode a virtual roller coaster. I’m not kidding.

The ride is fairly smooth, but there’s no sound. Ask the attendant if the helicopter is running before lining up since it feels more than a little ridiculous riding a pretend roller coaster in silence.

The Navy’s Blue Angels experience

* In a nutshell: Fly in formation with the Blue Angels precision flight team.

* Registration required?: No.

* Time Commitment: The “ride” lasts about three minutes.

* Overall enjoyment: Low. When the simulation starts, you’re told to hold on to the bar in front of you. There is no bar, but that doesn’t really matter since you’re not flying so much as being jostled a little from side to side.

Even when experienced alone, there’s almost no sense of immersion, just a lingering feeling of sadness and wasted time.

Texas On Tour

* In a nutshell: Experience the Lone Star State through edutainment activities, including live music, a video presentation, virtual kayak trip and photo shoot.

* Registration required?: Yes. So expect lots of travel brochures about Palo Duro Canyon and Save the Armadillo campaigns.

* Time Commitment: Seeing everything takes about 15 minutes.

* Overall enjoyment: Medium. Extra points awarded because the air conditioning in the dome worked this year. The virtual kayaking trip is interesting, but it’s tough not feeling like an idiot sitting in a land-locked kayak with a pair of goggles strapped to your head looking at things no one else can see.

Also, I missed the holographic cowboy that told me stories in the dome last year. This year, the presentation is conducted by overly enthusiastic Texans who grill you on your retention of minuscule details during a promotional video. Lame, and a little bit scary.

Most guests will probably not be experiencing all the mobile units in a short span of time like I did. That’s probably a good thing since after riding so many simulators, I started having the surreal feeling that everything in life was powered by hydraulics.