Filed by Darren Epps

3:05: Chattanooga jumps ahead 2-0. Upset alert!

3:10: John Shulman. The Don Juan of the SoCon. Kills me every time.

3:27: You know, the last thing you want to see is Chattanooga just get blown away from the start and quickly remove any semblance of hope. But the mighty Mocs answer a 10-0 run and only trail by two with 12 minutes left.

3:32: Jay Bilas: “Chattanooga is much better than a 16 seed. Had they played to their potential all season long, they would not be seeded 16th. They’re unafraid, athletic and they have explosiveness on the baseline.”

3:37: Here’s all you need to know about Chattanooga’s much-maligned perimeter defense: UConn has a 7-foot-3 guy against a team with no one taller than 6-foot-8. And the Huskies continue to launch 3s. A.J. Price hits three in a row as John Shulman borders on explosion.

3:43: There are 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 possible brackets. If everyone on the planet each randomly filled out a bracket, the odds would be more than one billion-to-1 against any person having a perfect bracket. But I’m 3-0 and I’m winning all four games right now (UNC and Purdue are cruising). Clearly, I’m headed toward the perfect bracket.

3:49: Bilas says he’s not sure anyone in basketball has gone through more than Price, who got caught stealing laptops and had brain surgery. The deaf kid for Cal-State Northridge would like a word with you, Jay.

3:51: Ty Patterson tried to dunk on 7-3 Hasheem Thabeet. That did not end well for Mr. Patterson.

3:52: We might need a stun gun for Shulman. He just got a technical. “He’s an excitable coach,” Bilas says in the understatement of the day.

3:54: Thabeet almost has a double-double. He’s played 10 minutes.

3:56: UConn is on a 103-2 run. Can we get a timeout? Apparently, Shulman passed out.

4:02: Halftime: 48-20. The announcers are relaying a story about the players saying Shulman uses the word “defend!” about 25 times per practice. It should be noted that UTC ranks 313th in scoring defense. Maybe try a new word?

4:22: This happened...

Bilas: Chattanooga comes out in a press....

Me: Why would they...

(Alley-oop dunk with no one around)

Me: ...do that...

4:26: Well, Radford is losing worse. So there’s that. North Carolina might score 200.

4:28: UConn is openly playing like an AND-1 team. It’s come to this.

4:31: Northern Iowa’s comeback falls short. And there goes the team with the most horrifying tattoos on white guys in the field (I’m speculating).

4:33: Earlier this week, I wondered how double-double machine Artsiom Parakhouski of Radford would play against Tyler Hansbrough. The answer: With 9 minutes left, Parakhouski has nine points and nine boards. He’s 3-of-14 from the field. So: not well. But he still might get that double-double.

4:40: I’ve got UConn-Chattanooga on one channel and UNC-Radford on another. Both are 40-point games. Meanwhile, Maryland and Cal are playing a close one and I can’t watch.

4:50: Maryland pulling away. Getting sleepy...

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5:05: Oh! Huh? Where? I’m up. What happened? Oh, that’s right: nothing. Most boring first two set of games ever.

5:14: UConn 103, Chattanooga 47. But, realistically, it couldn’t get much better for the Mocs. They got more exposure than any 16 seed, probably ever. It’s not like they were going to win. Go Mocs, indeed. Also: I’m 7-0. I know there’s a 9,223,372,036,854,775,808-to-1 chance of getting every pick right. But I have the attitude of Lloyd Christmas: “So you’re saying I have a chance...”

Be back tomorrow.