Holly Leber: Message to pet owners everywhere. No, I don’t think your puppy is the most precious thing ever. I know, I know, lightning bolts. When I say I don’t like dogs, people look at me like, well, like I kicked a puppy. “I don’t like dogs,” I want to say. “But I also don’t tie cocker spaniels to railroad tracks or stick beagles in deep fryers.” Come to think of it, I’m probably one of the few non-animal-lover vegetarians you’ll ever come across. (And no, I’m not a cat person either.) Most of the pet owners I’ve encountered don’t seem to consider that not everyone loves Lassie as much as they do. When I told the owner of an unleashed dog on the Riverwalk to collect his animal, which was jumping on strangers, he told me she’d “come back on her own,” not to worry. I was actually more worried about the humans.

Casey Phillips: Deep fryers, Holly? That’s disgusting.

I am an animal person through and through. I’m the kind of guy you want to invite over because I never have a problem with an animal — cat, dog or otherwise. Not only that, I’m an omnivore who’s never been tempted by the sight of the family pet in close proximity to the grill. I’m a lover, not a biter.

That means I’m in a fine position, socially. A 2007 survey by the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (it just sounds cuddly, doesn’t it?) estimated the combined number of dogs and cats in the United States at about 163 million. Holly, your distaste of canines and felines may be understandable as a phobia (cynophobia and ailurophobia, respectively), but if word gets out, you’ll have far fewer invitations to RSVP.

Holly: Wow, letting the claws come out, eh, Casey? Well, you’re right about one thing: There is a phobia involved. Cats make me a bit shaky, but dogs terrify me. Barks — from a Chihuahua’s yap to a bulldog snarl — make me freeze. A bounding puppy scares the daylights out of me because I think it’s going to knock me down and try to eat my face. And, no, I wasn’t attacked by a golden retriever as a child. It’s unusual, I admit, but most people have things that just make them very uneasy. Apparently though, this is socially unacceptable. I resent that. I’m the one who’s uncomfortable, and yet I’m somehow the offending party? It’s tiresome.

Casey: Maybe that’s because, to many people (my parents included), the dog is just another member of the family. For some families, you might as well be suggesting that someone’s toddler is going to knock you over and — how did you phrase it? — eat your face. As a child, I had a fear of dogs, too, but I outgrew it.

When I entered middle school, my parents bought our first dog, a border collie named Josse (Jo Jo). She was absolutely my best friend until I finished high school. Josse was incredibly social, unless you were another dog, in which case she was your worst nightmare. Eventually, we had to put her down when she slipped through the electric fence and fatally injured a neighbor’s dog. That was one of the saddest days of my life. She would have loved, you, though, Holly.

Holly: Hey, you can’t guarantee that a toddler isn’t going to bite someone either. And, excuse me, you just said your dog “fatally injured” a neighbor’s dog. Who’s to say a human couldn’t have been victim? I know dogs are loyal, but sometimes they can show their protectiveness of their masters with teeth. Some people are afraid of heights; others are scared of clowns. I’m afraid of dogs. I’ve managed to form a cordiality with a few dogs in my lifetime out of necessity, but it didn’t come naturally. I watched “Lassie” as a kid. Oh, and by the way, if I had a 2-year-old child who ran up to a stranger and jumped up on its lap, I’d rush over to collect my baby with apologies, not coo “she likes you,” and instruct my toddler to lick a stranger.

Yes, it really gets under my skin to listen to some woman carrying a Yorkie in a sparkly sweater, simpering to “Mommy’s little schnooky” or some other nauseating baby talk. It’s my biggest pet peeve (pardon the pun). But more than that, I am honestly afraid of them, and to be told that I’m cold, calculating, strange, unkind, hate babies, etc. is just mean and hurtful. I’ve never harmed an animal, I would never harm an animal, but dogs scare me. I won’t apologize for that.

Casey: Jo Jo was a people dog, not a dog dog, Holly. That was a low blow. She was the bane of the animal kingdom but the epitome of kindness around people.

To be fair, I can’t argue with dressing your pets or speaking to them like they’re people. That’s abhorrent. Still, I can understand the sympathy behind doing something like that since, for some people, dogs take on the same significance as people. My grandmother’s house was filled with poodles by the time she died. While they’re not my favorite breed, I appreciated the comfort they gave her and was willing to put up with them because of it.

No one is asking you to apologize for your fear, but just as someone with dendrophobia can’t realistically expect society to cut down all the trees, I don’t think you can expect people to go out of their way to accommodate you.

Holly: Actually, plenty of people do seem to think I should apologize for my fear, or that I need to just “get over it” to make them more comfortable. I don’t need to get over it, same way I don’t need to embrace anyone else’s religion. I don’t think it goes out of anyone’s way to say “no” when a dog approaches me and it’s clear that I’m uneasy. And no one is saying obliterate puppies. You love dogs, I get it, God bless. But not everyone has to love your dog. My fear is not a personal affront to anyone. But implying that I’m some heartless woman, that is a personal affront.

So I don’t like dogs. Get over it.