DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were visiting our children and grandson, “Rhett,” age 24. Rhett is a college student who lives at home. He had his girlfriend, “Peggy,” who lives in another town, at the house for the weekend.
Rhett and Peggy retired to his room early in the evening. When we saw them at breakfast, they were basically uncommunicative. Shortly after, they went to the backyard and immediately climbed into the hammock, where they lay like tightly wound dishrags for the next two hours until it was time for us to leave. Our son and his wife did not awaken them to say goodbye, so we concluded that they had been exhausted by the previous night’s activities.
Is this normal behavior in today’s world? We realize that we may be “old fogeys” by current standards, but isn’t there any line drawn anymore? My son and his wife acted like this was all perfectly fine. — INVISIBLE GRANDPA IN ARKANSAS
DEAR GRANDPA: Whether Rhett’s behavior — and his parents’ tolerance of it — is “fine” in today’s world depends upon the standards in that household. However, there are “family manners” and “company manners.” From your description of the goings-on during your visit, and that no effort was made to spend any quality time with you, I’d say your grandson’s behavior was just plain rude.
That said, Rhett was not entirely to blame. Some fault lies with your son and his wife for tolerating your being ignored and not insisting that you be treated with more courtesy and respect.
These kids are more interested in each other than they are in you. It may not have dawned on them that anyone else is in the room.
No its not right, but it's not uncommon. Some folks just don't make the effort spread themselves around.
I have been to parties where one of the host spouses at some point calls it a night without even a goodnight. Just disappears. Odd but he doesn't mean anything negative by it. I guess that is how he was raised.
FWIW I try to accept people the way they are when they aren't the in family. Inside of the family I'd certainly make a comment.