published Friday, June 3rd, 2011

5 at 10: Friday Mailbag

From the "7-Up Stinks Studios" here we go...

From Jordan Rules

  • photo
    Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade, right, and LeBron James speak during the last minutes of the second half of Game 2 of the NBA Finals basketball game against the Dallas Mavericks, Thursday, June 2, 2011, in Miami. The Mavericks defeated the Heat 95-93. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

Will you stop the NBA title party plans for the Heat now? They choked bad last night. Like the type of loss that stays with you kind of choke. Like Bill Buckner-level choke.

Dallas will win this series, and then all you LeBron lovers can make excuses about how the coach is bad or the bench did not help. Please. Dude is overrated.

Well, here's saying that Jordan Rules has either had a phone number with a 213 area code for Cleveland residents or knows some folks that do.

First, let's talk about the Mavs' comeback (awesome in its awesomeness) that combined with the Heat's meltdown (which was surprisingly complete) to create an interesting NBA Finals and a huge question for the rest of this match-up: Was this the Mavs' one bright moment or is this the beginning of the end for this Heat team? It's hard to know this morning, but the

collapse was so thorough — they were up 15 with seven minutes left — it will have some lingering effects regardless what the Heatles and Miami coach Erik (Estrada) Spoelstra said after the fact Thursday night.

But now that the series is tied 1-1 heading back to Dallas, this is anybody's series. The 5-at-10 still believes the Heat will win the series, and this is similar to the Heat's blowout loss in Game 1 against Chicago in the Eastern Conference finals when everyone overreacted more than a little bit.

As for LeBron's status, he's the best player on the planet. That's not overrating anything. If you're talking about all the LeBron-Jordan talk, well, we're tired of that, too. In fact, why do we always have to find the next Jordan or the next Shaq or the next Bird or the next whomever? LeBron is LeBron, and right now he's the best basketball player on the planet. And he does not have an NBA championship. That's not overrated or underrated.

From scole023

When is the next contest? I like to win stuff. You still talk too much. (And what happened to Pretend Al Davis?)

Hey, thanks for stopping by scole023 and know that we appreciate the support.

You've got a valid point — we have not had a contest since the Derby First-In, Last-In Challenge. We're open for suggestions, and we'll make an announcement early next week. Maybe give away some Braves tickets or something.

Here are a couple of ideas we're kicking around:

— We're planning on something with the home-run derby, so know that's coming.

— The other one right now is trying to predict what Dan Uggla's average, his home run total and his RBI total at the All-Star break.

As always, your thoughts are welcomed.

As for Pretend Al, well, he's had his plate full with the NFL labor issues. He'll be back around soon.

From CelticVol

  • photo
    Tennessee head basketball coach Bruce Pearl no longer has a job at the school.

Hello 5@10,

Wow, we may need to have a special limited edition 5x2@10 due to the number of major storylines going on. Who would’ve thought 9 months ago after the revelation of Bruce Pearl’s infamous BBQ that Ohio State would be much in the same boat as Tennessee. The only difference is that the Buckeyes boat has a hole in it and it’s filling up with water……FAST. Mike Hamilton needs to send OSU and Jim Tressel a letter of thanks this morning for making UT look squeaky clean.

Do you think Tressel’s final nail in the coffin was the comments made by Ray Small last week? I found it very interesting that Small, being a former captain, would comment the way he did. From everything I’ve read it looks as if OSU’s transgressions are much worse (and much more may come out) than the USC/Bush/Mayo scandal and we all know how that turned out for the Trojans. Am I wrong on this?


We concur 100-percent with everything you threw out there — except the 5x2@10, because we already write way too long. Just ask scole023.

Anyhoo, as the stories continue to leak from Columbus, Bruce Pearl's BBQ is starting to look like a Boy Scout meeting. Love the image of Mike Hamilton sitting down to write a letter to THE Ohio State University. Maybe it would go something like this (and don't you know it would be on one of those stationary pads with something like "From the Happy Desk of Mike Hamilton" in orange ink across the top):

Dear Gordon Gee, Gene Smith and Jim Tressel

Know that our sympathies are with you in this time of unrest and uncertainty. Know also that we here at the University of Tennessee and the officials and representatives of universities from Los Angeles to Auburn to Gainesville to Eugene, Ore., greatly appreciate the sacrifices you have made for college athletics and your willingness to face adversity.

This time can be difficult, and know that we are happy to help any way possible.

Sincerely (happy that you guys have pitched a tent in the crosshairs of NCAA trouble),


And, you are 100 percent right on about THE Ohio State's transgressions being worse thatn USC's. We believe THE Ohio State is in big-time trouble. Big-time trouble — like if they get the 30-scholarship loss and two-year postseason ban that USC got, they may not even appeal. As for Small's comments, that kept the ball rolling, but once this started to stink (and the stench really got strong when the report of the car deals to like 50 players and their family) and the national media started to smell blood, it was all over but the shouting.

From KG

  • photo
    In this file photo, Jay Greeson tees off on hole 10 during the practice round of the 2007 Chattanooga Classic at Black Creek Golf Course Tuesday. Official play for the Chattanooga Classic will begin Thursday and end Sunday. Staff Photo by Dan Henry/ Chattanooga Times Free Press

Enjoy the 5at10. Everybody has a favorite memory — a special one that you can remember so strongly it feels like yesterday. What is your favorite memory?

Thanks for the question KG and welcome to the program.

Favorite memory? well, the quick answer is the birth of the 5-at-10 tots, but let's go a step deeper. Favorite memory is a wide question that has so many directions. There's no other way to address this than to break it down by category.

Favorite personal memory (nonchildren division): Seeing my wife walking down the aisle. Perfect vision. Perfect day. (Sidenote: How perfect was it? It was 81 degrees and breezy. In early August. In central Alabama. For an outdoor wedding. We've always been lucky like that.)

Favorite sports memory (attended as a fan): Dec. 2, 1989 in Auburn, Ala. The then-No. 2-ranked Alabama Crimson Tide visiting Auburn for the first time ever. So much emotion — there were at least 40,000 people at the TigerWalk as the Auburn players entered the stadium. The student section was full three hours before the game — and about seven minutes after they opened the doors. Unbelievable electricity and Auburn won 30-20.

Favorite sports memory (as a participant): Playing Augusta National.

From PDavi

  • photo
    South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier looks on as quarterbacks Stephen Garcia calls to others as they organized for a group photo during media day Sunday, Aug. 9, 2009, at Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia, S.C. (AP Photo/Mary Ann Chastain)

Does Stephen Garcia have naked photos of Steve Spurrier?

Since we're talking about a Southern icon in Steven Orr Spurrier, we're going to use Lewis Grizzard's "nekked" in reference to those photos. Grizzard, a true Southern icon in his own right, famously said "Naked for a Southerner means you ain't got no clothes on. Nekked means you ain't got no clothes on and you up to somethin'."

A straight-up naked photo of Spurrier may not be enough, P-Davi, so if it has to do with a picture it would be the Ole' Ball Coach nekked.

That said, PDavi's theory is as good as any for Spurrier allowing Garcia to return to the team after his fifth (Yes, FIFTH) suspension.

"One more, he'd be finished," Spurrier told reporters at the SEC's meeting. "He's got some guidelines he has to follow or he knows he's finished. Hopefully he can do that."

One more, he'd be finished? Wow. Is that the college football version of double-secret probation, Dean Wormer?

Compromising photos may be the answer, PDavi. But more likely than anything, the answer has a lot to say about Spurrier's belief (or lack thereof) in back-up quarterback Connor Shaw's ability to guide a South Carolina team that has legit SEC championship hopes. Something tells the 5-at-10 that if Shaw was up to snuff in the spring, Spurrier would have gladly walked Garcia to his car. Nekked photos or not.

Until Monday.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Eustice_Chase said...

Can someone get "Jordan Rules" some ice for his "Hater-ade" Is Lebron the next Jordan? Is Kobe the next Jordan? Was Jordan the next Jordan? Who knows?! it just makes for good convo..its Summer in Sports...we have to have something to talk why not compare the greats of today to the greats of yesterday.... I cant believe the Heat fell asleep at the wheel last night! They have everything going their way once they took the lead in the 2nd half....and Dirk..Hows that injured "Non-shooting" Shooting hand, that he used for a lay-up to seal the deal for the Mavs???? Looked good to me...for a Non Shooting hand that is.

Anybody check out that spelling bee? Dan Uggla's kid was in it! yeah he spelled " envoyer un coup " wrong which is Hit in French...he asked them to use it in a sentence and it soudned something like this..."Your Dad can not envoyer un coup worth a crap."

June 3, 2011 at 10:35 a.m.
patrickd said...

And right on time, the 5-at-10:05!

June 3, 2011 at 10:37 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

ROFl!! That is awesome patrickd...and Pdavi gets the question of the day award! But i actually have a Sports related question (didnt have time to email so you can either choose to answer now or save it for next week) How long before you see the Braves making a trade for Uggla? And how long is Heyward out for?

June 3, 2011 at 10:40 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

And i think a moment of silence is in order for the passing of the Doc...ok thats good enough...wonder who got the assist on that one? (I know...bad Kevorkian sry)

June 3, 2011 at 10:46 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Im not saying that Stephen Garcia is good or bad...but without Alshon Jeffrey...the gamecocks are nothing but Sunday Supper.....Im thinking I could be under center and Alshon would make me look like a 5 Star recruit....

June 3, 2011 at 11:01 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

And if anyone really wants to know what happened to Pretend Al Davis...well lets just say he and I had a little talk..and uh..he wont be wearing his matching Crushed Velvet suits around these parts until the Raiders take the field on Sundays..

June 3, 2011 at 11:16 a.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

We laughed out loud at the Uggla stuff. Seriously. And what about the looks you get from the rest of the office when you're sitting there reading the 5-at-10 and then something tickles the funny bone. Good times.

Alshon Jeffery is awesome in his awesomeness. So is Marcus Lattimore. USC could be serious, until Garcia shows up at a team meeting with the smell of whiskey on his breath.

Go easy on Pretend Al. Wait, it's not like a "Weekend at Bernie's" thing with Pretend Al at the palatial EC compound, is it?

Oso —

Uggla is totally untradeable at this point. If the Braves called Frank Burke and wanted to swap Uggla for five Lookouts hats and two tickets to Saturday night's home game, Burke would hang up on them.

As for Heyward, he's put on the 15-day DL on May 22, so the earliest he can return is next Monday. But dude was 4-for-41 in May, so until he's completely healthy, the Braves will not rush him back. Hey, they already have Uggla as the starter in the 0-for-4 spot for the foreseeable future.

June 3, 2011 at 11:38 a.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, gotta say the close to yesterday's 5 at 10 was strong - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five strong. All I could think when reading those five was ... yes, yes, yes, oh yes and yep. And you cannot stop me!

June 3, 2011 at 12:44 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

anybody else get a cold chill when they read the article about CBS broadcasting the UT/FL game...It's soooo close....I can smell it.

June 3, 2011 at 12:47 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Let us just say that Pretend Al Davis is currently feasting on Cole Slaw and Cheeseburgers, adding up completed Sudoku Cards and preparring for next year's First Round of the NFL draft....If the Gamecocks win the SEC...Does Spurrier get a Gatorade bath? or Do He and Garcia Celebrate Stone Cold Steve Austin style...with one finger salutes and cold beer everywhere???

Oso...Im sorry to tell you but Maria Sharipova was eliminated in the French Open....

June 3, 2011 at 12:53 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

how can Garcia read a playbook when he has trouble with an eyechart? By the way, love Shaq's suit

June 3, 2011 at 1:13 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

SON OF A!!! that's done with the French Open....its official...there is absolutely NO reason to watch now.

June 3, 2011 at 1:43 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

That Press Confrence was wodnerful! Shaq is a Class Act, no doubt about it.

June 3, 2011 at 2:04 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Somebody get PDavi on the phone for the official countdown to kickoff update. It seems like we're 92 days out from the opening Saturday.


Thanks for the kind words. That list of Southern guy right of passage turned out pretty good. (We would probably amend No. 2 to fishing or golf. Here is replay that closed out Thursday's 5-at-10 record 34 comments for those that missed it:

"Yeah, Brick killed a guy."

Knew today was going to be a good day (didn't even have to use my A-K).

Guys, great stuff. But where's Tommy "Wildfire" Rich. Or Tony Atlas. Or JYD. The guys that Gordon Sole brought home to our living room on Saturday nights on WTBS 17 in Atlanta before it became a Superstation.

Picture an 8-year-old 5-at-10, hopped up on Coke-Cola and M&M's, wide-eyed and screamin' and here comes Wildfire Rich down the aisle at the Omni. It was the screamin' highlight of our young lives.

Southern boys are always going to have at least brief love affairs with all of the following:

— Braves baseball

— Fishing

— Cars that are too fast for us

— Girls that are too fast for us

— And wrastlin'

And that's all we got to say about that.)

Shaq, Waaaa-yaaa, he's the hero of the universe.

The "You can't stop me story," is one of the all-timers.


The BAC levels of the crowds in Columbia, S.C. are off the charts, so if the Game-Chickens figure out a way to win their first conference title since they were in the ACC, well, he Stone Cold celebration will be the opening act. They may sacrifice livestock. Brick may kill a guy.

Go easy on Pretend Al, there will be football, and we'll need him (and his leisure wear) come the fall.


We know you're a great admirer of Ms. Sharapova's tennis acumen, but the game must go on. And the only thing we have to say about the tennis world of today is "What happened to the players from the 'USA, USA, USA?'"

June 3, 2011 at 2:29 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

another great day, glad i was there for the record setting 34 comment day on the record setting hottest week on the books. And i know Cinco...what happened to us?! I mean we use to have such stars like Anna, Stephi, Jennifer, The Williams Sisters, and some dudes named pete and andre....its a sad day in the tennis world my friend. Everybody have a great weekend!

June 3, 2011 at 2:49 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Looks like we got some real dude sweat going on in here....

rest assured..Pretend Al Davis is safe...hes probably attending a few of those secret tell everybody about Jamarcus Russell..and hows hes a big dodo head... and Ive got an idea...Plaxico Burress...rumor is..The Eagles & Jets are very interested...lets play a game called which former Giant gets signed first... Tiki or Plaxico....and who do they go to?? OK?

I'll Start

Bill Belicheck Signs Plaxico Burress just for the reason he spoiled the perfect season for he and the Patriots and he doesnt want Rexy Ryan to have him....

Tiki Barber gets signed by...none other than th New York Football Giants...just so they can cut him....

June 3, 2011 at 2:53 p.m.
please login to post a comment

Other National Articles

videos »         

photos »         

e-edition »


Find a Business

400 East 11th St., Chattanooga, TN 37403
General Information (423) 756-6900
Copyright, Permissions, Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy, Ethics policy - Copyright ©2014, Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc. All rights reserved.
This document may not be reprinted without the express written permission of Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc.