published Thursday, May 19th, 2011

Man charged with exposure at Northgate Mall after showing ‘glistening white buttocks’

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    Michael Vincent Devita, 20, is charged with indecent exposure after he reportedly asked another man in the men’s room at Northgate Mall to perform oral sex on him before entering the man’s stall, according to a Chattanooga Police Department arrest report. Man charged with exposure at Northgate Mall after showing “glistening white buttocks” Contributed photo

A man was charged with indecent exposure Wednesday after he reportedly showed his “glistening white buttocks” to another man in a bathroom stall at Northgate Mall, according to a Chattanooga Police Department arrest report.

Michael Vincent Devita, 20, began the conversation by asking if the man — who already was in a bathroom stall — was gay, according to the report. After the man said no, Devita asked if the man would perform oral sex on him, the report said.

When the man glanced to the bottom of the stall door, he saw Devita’s “glistening white buttocks protruding into his occupied stall,” the report states.

The man then left the bathroom and located mall security, according to the report.

When questioned by police, Devita said he “went too far,” according to the report.

He has since been released from jail, according to records.

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esaletnik said...

So .. who coined the phrase "glistening white buttocks"? The perpetrator, the victim or the reporter?

May 19, 2011 at 11:47 a.m.
SilenceDogood11 said...

esaletnik, well, the story answers your question.

"When the man glanced to the bottom of the stall door, he saw Devita’s “glistening white buttocks protruding into his occupied stall,” the report states."

May 19, 2011 at 11:50 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

YEAH...IM WONDERING IF THIS WAS HIS EXACT WORDS OR THE WORDS OF THE OFFICE WHO TOOK THE REPORT. I MEAN TO ME IT WAS PROBABLY MORE ALONG THE LINES OF "THIS DUDE JUST SHOVED HIS @#% INTO MY STALL WHILE I WAS IN THERE!!" BUT I AM LOVING THE GLISTENING WHITE BUTTOCKS LINE....

May 19, 2011 at 12:14 p.m.
dao1980 said...

Ha! That's hilarious.

It seems to me that whoever came up with such an elegant description of a mans behind, must have an affinity for such things.

May 19, 2011 at 12:25 p.m.
esaletnik said...

SilenceDogood11 said... esaletnik, well, the story answers your question.

So .. the cop must have asked the perpetrator to lower his pants otherwise he would have not known if his buttocks were both glistening and white.

May 19, 2011 at 12:41 p.m.
XGSBoss said...

Well L4F. It seems we have found the limits to your libertarianism. Govt should exist to stop people from having sex in public. Anything else it should do or is that about it?

May 19, 2011 at 1:12 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

I suppose the streets of Hixson were safe on this day...arresting mooners...Job Well done...Keep up the good work....

May 19, 2011 at 1:35 p.m.
DoN2Much said...

aww ppl quit being so serious all the time it is what it is and its funny as hell to me hahahaha i cant stop laughing about it nor about what bigbearzzz said.... i'm with ya on that i believe it was said just that way if not exactly like that! lol

May 19, 2011 at 2:30 p.m.

Would the White Devil have hit it if he had been presented with buttery brown buttocks?

May 19, 2011 at 3:38 p.m.
hickory10 said...

This is to funny.......I can only think of one officer that could've said glistening white buttocks but I'm not going to name him lol!!!!

May 19, 2011 at 3:40 p.m.
dao1980 said...

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm voting for M_V_B for "best comment in thread".

May 19, 2011 at 3:40 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

yeah....win on MVB....I'd say im LMAO but it doesnt seem appropriate in this thread.....LMBBBO?!?!

May 19, 2011 at 3:45 p.m.
cmcollis said...

I agree with dao. Muhammad is king for the day.

May 19, 2011 at 3:52 p.m.
crow1033 said...

It must be so hard for L4F to feel so put upon by society....I bet his glistening white buttocks are cinched up tight!

May 19, 2011 at 5:31 p.m.
sd said...

Ignore them, L4F. Your white buttocks ARE wonderful and will always be glistening to me.

May 19, 2011 at 5:55 p.m.

We can always count on someone (in Chattanooga) to make most anything "racial" on some of these posts. Devita is only 20 y/o and I wonder what type of future he has ahead!

May 19, 2011 at 6:38 p.m.
ceeweed said...

Wasn't it a full moon? Buttery Brown or Glistening White, their was a bad moon rising at the mall that night.

May 19, 2011 at 6:53 p.m.
hcirehttae said...

Gives new meaning to the song lyric, "There's a bathroom on the right."

May 19, 2011 at 9:57 p.m.
jennbo said...

L4F once made an extremely offensive comment comparing a woman breastfeeding to peeing and pooping in public - saying we don't have the "right" to do it - so not only is he a moron, but he's not even a good libertarian to not support a woman's right to feed her child. That's okay, I'll just let him scream the whole time in the restaurant instead.

May 19, 2011 at 11:16 p.m.
bluedagger said...

He should have tried Mark Foley's style and just tapped his foot under the stall.

May 19, 2011 at 11:58 p.m.
Slothrop said...

Here's how the conversation probably went . . . VICTIM: I say, officer, some wanton fellow has thrust his alabaster posterior at me as I set upon the loo. OFFICER: Goodness gracious, you mean his glistening white buttocks!? VICTIM: Indeed! He must have been one of those Libertarians!

May 20, 2011 at 9:01 a.m.
LibDem said...

As I understand Libertarianism, I get to do what I want and you get to do what I want.

May 20, 2011 at 11:29 a.m.
Leaf said...

I find I am jealous of the perp's buttock shine. Neither glistening white nor buttery brown, my buttocks are a disappointing dull color and far from glistening.

Does anyone know how to shine buttocks? Is waxing required, or is application of an ointment, creme or unguent to the buttocks the solution? Would periodic buffing of the buttocks help maintain a healthy buttock glow?

May 20, 2011 at 12:51 p.m.
lclarktn said...

All I can say is some folks have all the luck. I'd pay for some glistening white, if I had any money. I'm speaking of teeth ya know. yea right.

May 20, 2011 at 1:27 p.m.
LibDem said...

L4F: I understand (maybe) and appreciate the concept of 'no harm'. If you could get even majority buy in, I'd support you. Unfortunately, we (society) can't even agree on the definition of 'harm'. You think public exposure is harmful; I see no harm in the human body. (OK, I'd better qualify that a little. At my age, even I don't want to see my body.)

May 20, 2011 at 2:27 p.m.
petuniadewitt said...

dreamy good looks coupled with callipygian allure make michael vincent devita northgate's best poster boy!

May 20, 2011 at 8:36 p.m.
angchatt said...

Okay the story alone was hysterical. But add in these comments and you all have me LMGWBO!

May 21, 2011 at 9:22 a.m.
Echo said...

Muhammad van blah blah blah, How do you know that the victim was white? Maybe he was a ignorant, racist, moron with a pillbox hat.

May 21, 2011 at 9:24 a.m.
Czech123 said...

Hahaha!!! I hope there wasn't a police line-up to positively i.d. the mooner!!!

May 21, 2011 at 6:10 p.m.
bookworm said...

They say the guy in the stall got mooned from under the stall door? Duh, was the mooner a midget or a contortionist?

May 23, 2011 at 7:08 a.m.
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