published Saturday, December 1st, 2012

Spoon-bending president

Barack Obama, a man whose presidency has been built on deception, fabrications, trickery and old fashioned hooey, has found the perfect person to perform at his inauguration: A mentalist who cons people into believing he has psychic and psychokinetic abilities.

Earlier this week, mentalist Alain Nu announced on his Facebook page that he “was just invited to perform … [at] President Obama’s Inauguration January 21st!” Specifically, Nu will appear at an inaugural ball sponsored by the American Legion, according to the Daily Caller.

Nu, like all “mentalists,” doesn’t actually have the psychic and psychokinetic powers he claims — after all, no one does. He is simply a well-practiced entertainer who mixes a few magicians’ tricks with the knowledge of body language and facial expression. The problem with Nu is that he is one of the few disgusting trolls who tries to convince his audiences that he actually can move things with his mind, speak to the dead and read thoughts. Nu claims to have ESP, a super memory and clairvoyance, according to his promotional materials.

One of Nu’s most common tricks is spoon bending. He claims to shoot “chi” through his fingertips and bend spoons and other objects with his mind. Unfortunately for Nu, spoon bending is as stale as Joe Biden’s comb-over. In 1973, Johnny Carson thoroughly debunked Uri Geller, a spoon bender and scam artist who claimed to have supernatural powers. Now, anyone willing to watch a couple of YouTube clips and ruin a few pieces of casual flatware can learn to bend spoons.

Nu is perhaps best known from his 2005 TLC series “The Mysterious World of Alain Nu.” Despite his show airing on the same channel that has managed to perpetuate shows about wedding-dress shopping, cupcake baking, polygamists, dwarfs, hoarders, gypsies and an obese, 6-year-old hillbilly beauty pageant contestant, Nu’s show lasted about five minutes before it was yanked off the air. Since then, Nu’s showbiz career has rivaled the Red Lobster waiters who sing “Happy Birthday” — he is most often found performing his tacky brand of magic tableside at a steakhouse in Washington, D.C.

Besides harassing diners who are simply trying to enjoy their surf and turf, Nu has also been busy putting his psychic abilities to the test by predicting football games, mixed martial arts fights and even election results on his personal blog and Facebook page. His prophesying skills have proven as pathetic as Obama’s efforts to improve the economy.

The day before the most recent Super Bowl, Nu predicted a New England Patriots victory over the New York Giants by a score of 31 to 28. The Giants actually won the game, 21 to 17.

In April, Nu followed up his incorrect Super Bowl prediction by foretelling the outcomes of a the six bouts during UFC 145. He got three right and three wrong — the exact 50-50 percentage that you’d expect if you flipped a coin to guess the winners of the fights.

Nu even failed to accurately forecast Obama’s landslide victory over Mitt Romney. Instead, Nu went with the safe bet of predicting “a ballot-recount, combined with much scrutiny of the other party.”

It’s impressive that, despite the fact that he is a glorified side-show act who preys on people who are either dumb or searching for answers, Nu snagged an invitation to perform for the president at the inauguration.

That’s probably because Obama sees a part of himself in Nu.

After all, just like Nu, Obama plays on peoples’ fear and insecurities to get them believe things that aren’t true: The stimulus “saved or created over 150,000 jobs;” “We got back every dime we used to rescue the financial system;” there will be “no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens;” “The detention facilities at Guantánamo … shall be closed as soon as practicable, and no later than one year from [Jan. 22, 2009];” and, “A crude and disgusting video sparked outrage throughout the Muslim world.”

Also, just like Nu, when Obama predicts something will happen, the opposite usually occurs. The president’s erroneous prognostication that unemployment rates would fall to 5.6 percent after the stimulus handouts makes Nu’s bungled Super Bowl pick easy to overlook.

Come to think of it, Obama’s first term was filled with so much scamming, tricking, swindling and lying, who better to kick off his second term than a mentalist shyster who claims to have supernatural powers?

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You really hate Obama, that's obvious.

Too bad you don't recognize the real con man from this election, but instead just indulge in your favorite sport of attacking Obama with fervor.

December 1, 2012 at 9:29 a.m.
hambone said...

Com on man! Drew, you're better than this.

Or maybe not!

December 1, 2012 at 12:08 p.m.
librul said...

Sad to say, it's most likely not. This sort of drivel would embarrass a high school newpaper.

December 1, 2012 at 1:04 p.m.
timbo said...

Way to go Drew!!!!! Obama is the most ridiculous president in history The only thing wrong with this article is you were to easy on him.

Don't worry about the liberal living dead. They are full of crap. They wanted someone as sorry as they are.

December 1, 2012 at 4:26 p.m.

It's so funny how committed to the narrative that the right-wing shills on this site are, it's actually counter-productive.

December 1, 2012 at 11:56 p.m.
Libertine said...

Ten paragraphs about a minor performer at a minor inaugural event, all to get to a weak four-paragraph, generic rip of President Obama. How do you get away with fraud like this? Maybe the shyster is in your mirror.

December 2, 2012 at 4:21 a.m.
Rickaroo said...

A list of Bush's "accomplishments":

He lied about WMD; unilaterally invaded a sovereign nation without provocation and justification; lied during State of the Union speech re: Niger Uranium; responsible for pre-9/11 intelligence failures in White House, CIA, FBI; allowed 9-11 murderers to remain free while diverting precious military and financial resources to his vanity war in Iraq; lied about Saddam/bin Laden connection; turned Iraq into a terrorist breeding ground and made the entire Middle East even more unstable than it already was; lied about nation-building; Opposed creation of 9-11 Commission; disrespected and alienated the U.S. from French, German and other key allies; lied to Americans about the real cost of war; fostered an environment of torture at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo; lined Halliburton's pockets in Afghanistan and Iraq with fat no-bid contracts; under-manned and under-equipped our armed forces in Iraq, resulting in unnecessary deaths and injuries; lied about effects of man-made pollutants on the environment to support corporate pals; lied about the insolvency of Social Security; gave huge cuts to the wealthiest taxpayers; bitterly divided the nation along religious, party and sexual preference lines; guilty of numerous cronyism appointments (Homeland Security, Supreme Court, etc.); rewarded failures of Condoleeza Rice and other cronies with key promotions; responsible for almost overnight turning a surplus into a deficit; colossal failure of preparedness, rescue and relief during Hurricane Katrina; presided over the U.S.'s lowest popularity throughout the world. saw No Child Left Behind fail; ushered in the worst recession in America since the Great Depression. And on and on and on.

Yeah, Obama can't hold a candle to such a stellar record as that. Too bad we couldn't have had another 4 years of the honorable, super-achieving, never-told-us-a-lie GWB.

December 2, 2012 at 3:06 p.m.

JonRoss, I believe you're confusing Obama with Mitt Romney.

You know, the guy who actually associated with the Birther movement.

But hey, did you know your pessimism and hatred is anti-American?

Real Americans have entirely different attitudes, ones that are not based on a frothing hysterical sense of despair.

December 2, 2012 at 10:03 p.m.
CADMAN1 said...

So Rickadik, i guess getting your signature on a petition to have GW included on Mt. Rushmore aint gonna happen.

December 3, 2012 at 2:03 p.m.
Leaf said...

Seems to me, ed, you should be blaming the American Legion for hiring this sideshow performer for whom you have so much venom. Were you molested by a carnie or something? What's your obsession with this mentalist all about?

December 3, 2012 at 4:11 p.m.
tipper said...

JonRoss: "Nothing you said is true." I get it. You just write on this blog to make people laugh. And here I thought you were serious. Yep, you got us all! Boy howdy, you're just a gol' darn knee-slapper. You must be trying out your material on here before you go to the Comedy Catch. Let me know when you're up on open mic night. I'll bring all my friends.

December 3, 2012 at 7:38 p.m.
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