published Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

5 at 10: Tales of the weird and wild

5-at-10: Tales of the weird and wild

From the "Talks too much" studios, here we go...

  • photo
    Dennis Rodman arrives at family court in Orange Calif., on Tuesday, May 29, 2012. The flamboyant former NBA player is expected to be sentenced for contempt in a long-running divorce case in Orange County. Rodman was found guilty of four counts of contempt for failing to pay child support for his two children. (AP Photo/Nick Ut)
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

Don't underestimate yourself judge; you're a tremendous slouch

OK, Dennis Rodman is so far behind on his child support that he was sentenced in court Tuesday. His ex-wife's attorney says Rodman, the former NBA rebounding champ/freak show, owes more than $800,000 in back child support.

Rodman was placed on three years informal probation, which we assume is like regular probation without having to wear a tie or use the proper fork, and sentenced to 104 hours community service. The court commissioner, who made the decision and who has the emotional common sense of a cross between Judge Smails and Judge Reinhold, suggested Rodman devote that time to working with others in need, possibly even children.

Excuse us? Rodman... Dennis Rodman... working with underprivileged kids? Uh, were you absent the day they taught law at law school? Well, we'll let Rodman, who in 2010 said alcoholism left him broke, leave the lasting statement.

"It's all about the kids," Rodman told reporters after the hearing in Orange County, Ca. "It does suck the fact that it had to come to this."


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    This June 5, 2011 file photo shows Terrell Owens watching during the second half of Game 3 of the NBA Finals basketball game between the Miami Heat and the Dallas Mavericks, in Dallas. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey, File)
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

What's next, the California Penal League?

OK, where does Terrell Owens go now? As friend of the show Jonathan Cook, the transplanted local guy made good in Dallas, shared with us early this morning, T.O. was cut from the second-rate indoor football team Tuesday.

Owens joined the Allen Wranglers just outside of Dallas earlier this year in a deal that made him part of the team and part of the ownership group. It was a two-folded decision: Allen got some national notoriety because no one can name any of the other teams in the Indoor Football League, which is different from the Arena League and the slew of minor league football organizations that play in arenas the size of hockey rinks; and Owens was hoping to use the exposure to get back into the NFL.

Wellllllll, who possibly could have foreseen this turning out badly? No, there was no way that T.O., who wore out his welcomes at red-carpet locales in Dallas and Philly among others, was going to mess this up. Sure, it may be a little bit below his normal standards, but if there's anything we know about is that he's low-maintence. He can go along and get along with the best of them.

Uh, nope.

T.O. was cut Tuesday — as player and potential part owner — in large part because he had made it clear to the team he was not going on two upcoming road trips (to be fair, one was to Nebraska, and who wants to go to Nebraska?) and he skipped out on the team's visit to a children's hospital.

"It is difficult to look other players on this team in the eyes and tell them that being a team player is important...that giving it your all on the field every night is our expectation, when another member of this team is not operating by these standards," said Wranglers president and co-owner Tony Benizio in the statement.

"The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back for Mr. Owens was his no-show to a scheduled appearance at a local children's hospital with other Wrangler players and coaches. It is not the desire of the Allen Wranglers' organization to disappoint fans by having our most notable player miss a scheduled appearance."

Truthfully, is anyone surprised by this? And remember, as Dennis Rodman, who could turn out to be the modern-day Mr. Rogers, said earlier, "It's all about the kids. It does suck the fact that it had to come to this."


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    St. Louis Cardinals' David Freese (23) knocks the glove and ball away from Milwaukee Brewers catcher Jonathan Lucroy as he scores on a sacrifice fly by Adron Chambers during the fifth inning of Game 6 of baseball's National League championship series Sunday, Oct. 16, 2011, in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.


Milwaukee catcher Jonathan Lucroy will miss at least the next month with a broken right hand after his wife knocked a suitcase off the bed in his L.A. hotel room.

Lucroy, who was off to a strong start this season with a .345 average, was reaching for a sock under the bed when the suitcase fell.

This got the 5-at-10 thinking, baseball players are a lot of things. Creatures of habit, superstitious to a fault and even prone to some seriously strange injuries. Does Lucroy's broken hand crack this top 5 of tough to believe tough breaks in baseball?

1) The perils of sneezing: Sammy Sosa suffered back spasms after sneezing too hard in 2004; Mat Latos strained his side and landed on the DL in 2010 after holding in a sneeze too long.

2) Video games maimed the baseball stars. Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya missed parts of the 2006 playoffs with arm problems brought on by playing too much Guitar Hero.

3) Be careful for the dangerous footwear. Mickey Tettleton missed time with athlete's foot, which was made extreme because he tied his shoes too tight. Wade Boggs once hurt himself taking off his cowboy boots.

4) There are also is the perils of the elements. Rickey Henderson missed some time with frost bite. In August. Marty Cordova got sunburned from a tanning bed. (Or is that lamp-burned?).

5) There are countless other that are filled with irony — speedster Vince Coleman getting rolled by the tarp machine — to the dozens of players hurt during celebrations or doing something over-the-top foolish — John Smoltz reportedly burned himself ironing a shirt, which while unlikely can happen of course; since Smoltz was still wearing the shirt, the odds of self-inflicted burns increased greatly. Of course, none of the crazy injuries stories combine the elements of crazy, irony, unlucky and hard to believe like Clarence Blethen. Blethen pitched for Boston in the 1920s, and believed he was more intimidating on the mound if he pitched without his false teeth. Well, after a successful inning, Blethen forgot to put his chompers back in his mouth, batted and reached first base. Sliding into second to try to break up a double play, Blethen's false teeth, which were in his back pocket, cut into his back side. The bleeding was reportedly bad enough to force Blethen from the game and he missed a couple of days. In a manner of speaking, Blethen bit himself in the butt. Good night.


This and that

— The Braves actually won one Tuesday, holding off the Cards 5-4.

— We talked Tuesday about how LeBron James and Dwyane Wade are operating at an elite level. Well, here's saying they have nothing on Tony Parker right now. Parker was lethal Tuesday night as the Spurs took a 2-0 lead over the Thunder with a 120-111 win. Dude finished with 34 points and eight assists and was perfect for an extended stretch of the third quarter that allowed San Antonio to establish a 22-point lead. In the playoffs when stars have to be efficient as well as excellent, Parker was sublime and finished 16-of-21 from the field. (Side note: We have been really enjoying these NBA playoffs but were less than thrilled to see the Thunder use the old Hack-a-Shaq defense in the second half. OKC was intentionally fouling Tiago Splitter. It was less than awesome... in fact it was more awful in its awfulness.)

— The 5-at-10 loves the draft. You know this. Tonight we'll find out which NBA dreg gets the top pick and the chance to draft Anthony "Uniblocker" Davis. Among the interesting storylines for tonight is the New Jersey Nets, who had a 25 percent chance of getting a top-three pick. But if the Nets did not get a top-three pick, their first-round choice will go to Portland as part of the Gerald Wallace trade. Not since Forrest Gump has this much hinged on a ping-pong ball.

— Phillies ace Roy Halladay is heading to the DL.

— Serena is bounced in the French Open.

— Game 2 between the Heatles and the Celtics is tonight, and if Boston is to have any chance, it can't allow Miami to shoot 21-of-27 inside the paint like it did in Game 1. Anyone smell a flagrant 1 on the stove?


Today's question

In honor of the less than good — and less than surprising news from Rodman and T.O. — let's do an off-the-wall Rushmore/Tar pit.

If you're a coach or a manager, who are the four people you least want to hear have been added to your roster.

We'll call this list the Mount Rushmore of team headaches. (And we believe the two guys mentioned above will make everyone's list.)

We'll be back with our four later. Discuss.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

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Stewwie said...

As bad as it looks, and admitting that it does slow the game way down, I thought the Hack-a-Splitter was a great move by OKC. Not only because it put a terrible foul shooter on the line, but it effectively stopped the crazy momentum the Spurs had at the time. The Spurs were shooting lights-out. Give the Thunder credit for not quitting...down 22 and got it within 6 late.

Can't decide on 4 for the Rushmore...I have Rodman, T.O., Moss, Iverson, and Artest.

May 30, 2012 at 11:05 a.m.
jgreeson said...

Stew got what we need —

The Hack-a-Anyone tactic is based in sound logic, and you're right the Thunder needed to do something to slow down the Tony Parker Show, but it drained the energy from the game. That rule needs to be changed — something intentional off-ball fouls are 1 free throw and the ball.

This Rushmore — or is a Rushless? — is tough. You have a few of the front-runners, no doubt.

— 5-at-10

May 30, 2012 at 11:11 a.m.
Todd962 said...

Your assumptions about informal probation are correct. It sits at one end of the probation spectrum with double secret probation as its opposite. And is this the same "All about the Kids" Rodman that broke down in his hall of fame speech, admitting his one regret was being a lousy father. Something tells me this isnt the end of this story and its only going to get sadder.

I dont know if I would mind having Rodman on my squad. He always seemed to give his all to the game when he was on the court. While his off the court antics may have been a distraction, I think I would take him with the risk involved.

Now some of the ones that I would not want to deal with are TO, Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton, Albert Haynesworth, Rae Carruth, Sam Hurd, or the slew of stars that have attempted and succeeded to get their coach fired. That would be the Carmelos and Howards of the world. I clearly dont want to coach them when it jeopardizes my job security.

May 30, 2012 at 11:22 a.m.
deboman said...

Puck drops on the Stanley Cup Finals tonight. Kings v Devils is a better match-up than what should be expected when 8th seed from the west meets the 6 seed from the East. That’s what makes the playoffs great. The Kings are the epitome of a team that has come together at the right time and is playing the best hockey of their season. They knew what they had with their Quick in goal, but it took a while for the chemistry to develop with new additions Richards and Carter, a holdout by top defenseman Doughty, and various injuries. Great postseason so far if you consider they are 12-2 and have dispatched the #1,2, and 3 seeds in the west. The Devils do play a style that will make this a tough matchup for the series. They possess an all-world goalie in Brodeur, but employ a relentless fore-checking system that will put a lot of pressure on the Kings young defense and will create a lot of opportunities. The Devils are a deep team that has gotten timely scoring from all four forward lines and have a lethal power play with elite level snipers Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise. Both teams are running hot so this should make for an entertaining series. Hard to pick against the Kings and how they are just burning up the competition.

As for the Unwanted Rushmore listing…I will leave out the obvious ones mentioned previously. Really, should anyone be surprised that TO couldn't show up for a kids event when he has no involvement with his own children.

  • Carlos Zambrano- Has the temperament of a 5 year old. Talk about some tantrums and the inability to deal with the folks around them. Yikes.

  • Sean Avery- Where to start with this guy. No respect for the game, his team, or team mates. This guy needs a handler. Anyone that is going to throw out the ‘Sloppy Seconds’ line during an interview just proves he is missing that common sense filter in his brain that most humans have.

  • Jerome Harrison- May be a reach but while supremely talented, this guy cannot get out of his own way. He plays hard and that is great, but when it begins to be a detriment to the team and does not change, it becomes a problem. Would hate to have to constantly defend a player that has been warned, fined, etc time and time again.

  • Cincinnati Bengals Grab Bag- This could really be considered the Mos Eisley of football teams. You have to give Marvin Lewis some credit for making this team competitive

May 30, 2012 at 11:57 a.m.
Blueoval said...

Wow Jay, I think we can use the whole mountain side for this Rushmore.....I like Stew's picks but I would have to add Pac-man Jones, Chad Ochocinco (just give the ball to the stink'in ref), OJ Simpson and from the Nascar world Kurt (needs anger management) Bush to name a few.......

May 30, 2012 at 12:26 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Mr. 962 —

"Double-secret probation" has got the big head after its success in "Animal House."

And great call on the coach-killers such as Howard and Carmelo and the like. Plus, the Arenas/Crittendon duo is awesome. Dudes who pull guns at card games are not likely to be called "glue guys" anytime soon. Rodman played hard for winner, but when the things turned the Worm turned with them. (See what we did there?)

Deboman —

Your still our licensed hockey rep. And while all of your post was strong — Zambrano was an especially inspired call — the fact you threw out a Mos Eisley reference is top-notch. Well-played indeed.

Oval —

Pacman is an excellent choice too because he's the worst type of cancer in that you know he's the Eddie Haskell type of corruptor. Getting the young guys to go make it rain and out to the club and stuff that we've heard on the MTV that we're not entirely sure what it means.

Wonder what kind of locker room guy O.J. was before he snapped an didn't kill his wife?

— 5-at-10

May 30, 2012 at 12:37 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

the bottom four...

B. Lamar Bonds. The Queen Elizabeth II doesn't carry around that much baggage. Manny Just Being Manny The Artest formerly known as Ron Steven Jackson (another wild-eyed borderline psycho who also bears some culpability in that donnybrook between the Pistons-Pacers a few years back)

Deboman, don't know if I'd call Kovalchuk an elite sniper, like he was 5-6 years ago with the Thrashers. This is certainly a very different Devils team from its previous Cup winners. We might see more, a lot more, freewheeling, up and down the ice hockey in this series. I'd say that Quick is the leader in the clubhouse for the Conn Smythe. He's been unbelievable and who'da thunk that a star on a team from LA would be so unnoticed and have so little of his work highlighted on the Worldwide Leader in Sports.

And when is Michelle Beadle's last day on SportsNation so I'll know when to stop watching completely?

May 30, 2012 at 1:04 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Spy —

We'd take the risk with Bonds. Sometimes aptitude can overcome attitude.

Kovalchuk was the guy that was driving in the wreck that Heatley died in, right? Bueller?

And what's this SportsNation mumbo jumbo of which you speak? (As Chucky Miller would say, "Boy? I see no boy here.")

— 5-at-10

May 30, 2012 at 1:37 p.m.
Todd962 said...

Spy, not a big fan of Cowherd? He's a small doses kind of fellow for sure. Where is Beadle going? Is there a reason for her departure?

Debo, Zambrano is a good'un. Which is why he cracked my top five face punch list.

May 30, 2012 at 1:40 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

No, Heatley was driving. It was Dan Snyder who was killed.

May 30, 2012 at 1:45 p.m.
deboman said...

5er- Heatley was actually the driver in that accident, Dan Snyder was the player that lost his life. Talk about awful decisions, racing through an unfamiliar neighborhood in a Ferrari. After seeing that wreck, he is VERY lucky to be alive, let alone playing hockey.

Maybe sniper was the wrong word there, but he still possesses elite talent. With the Devils he is lucky to have a better supporting cast and it shows in his numbers this year. Gone are the Cy Young numbers (ie way more goals than assists). He put up 46 assists this year (career best 48)and is the only player with double digit assists in the playoffs while being one goal behind the league leader in playoff goals. The addition of Adam Oates behind the bench has really helped his develop within the offense for NJ and it shows, especially on the PP.

May 30, 2012 at 1:47 p.m.
deboman said...

Have to say that, while sitting through this scintillating webinar meeting, I started to wonder about the other side of the Rushmore coin. Which managers would a player really be upset about having to play for? The first ones that came to mind were Ozzie Guillen, Rex Ryan(really any of the Ryans), Bill Parcells, and Mike Keenan.

Also, the Lions, as a team, are making an impressive run at the Bengals for most off season indiscretions. That 2011 draft class is really upping their numbers.

May 30, 2012 at 2:10 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

From what I understand, Charissa Thompson is next in line to suffer through an hour on air with the vastly overrated and stil curiously employed Mr. Cowherd. She's ... easy on the eyes.

May 30, 2012 at 2:28 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

And 5, you composed the weird and wild today before news of the um, "movie" shot at the LA Coliseum broke. Granted, the um, "movie" was shot 11 years ago. But how in the name of Great Odin's Raven did they manage to pull that off?

May 30, 2012 at 3:54 p.m.
Todd962 said...

They probably filmed it Bowfinger style. Smoke and shadows galore. The article claimed it was filmed in one night in September of 2001. That narrows it down to about a ten day window it could of happened because I would say in a venue that large the security would not have allowed it to happen following the 11th day of that month. "One night in the Coliseum." Stay classy LA.

May 30, 2012 at 4:25 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, as you well know, OJ was nothing but nice and gracious to me when I met him. Of course, that was 1991, three years prior to all that transpired. Still, he was cool that day.

May 30, 2012 at 4:57 p.m.
eastridge8 said...

You know, you never heard anything about TO being on drugs, taking steroids, DUIs, shooting people or stealing and such so it makes one wonder what happened?

So did you catch him on Dr. Phil's show the other day? He's got 5 kids by 3 different women and owes TONS of back child support. His reason is that he's broke. He has no money left and now it appears he doesn't have a team. His basic excuse was he was living the high life and spending money like crazy.(He readily admitted this.) He says he paid child support but "these women" kept taking him to court to get more money.

He hasn't seen any of his kids in Christmas or birthdays. So it's no wonder that he skipped the sick kids hospital visits since he won't even support or go see his own kids.

May 31, 2012 at 12:16 p.m.
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