published Friday, April 12th, 2013

5-at-10: Mainly a Masters mailbag

AUGUSTA, Ga. — From the Richmond County satellite office of the “Talks too much studios,” fore please the 5-at-10 now driving.

Before we get to the mailbag, here’s a question for the group: Is there any interest in a weekend 5-at-10 or do we play like the new kids and interact on The Twitter (@jgreesontfp)?

Also, high praise for Billyfrom Brainerd who had G-C-F, the never before heard from player who is at 5 under after a birdie at No. 1 this morning.

To the mailbag:

From Chas9

Mailbag question: Who's on your Rushmore of retired athletes as pitchmen on TV?

Excellent question.

Because of their popularity and connectivity, athletes are easy spokespeople... Not unlike family-oriented, interweb-based columnist. (Give us a call, we’ll sell it.)

Anyhoo, let’s do a Rushmore of retired stars and active stars. Deal? Deal.

Active stars (who when they were active in their sports were excellent pitch folks): Peyton Manning (dude is so money, Audible Outlaw...), pre-divorce Tiger Woods (the commercial in which he bounces the ball on his wedge and then smacks it out of the air is SOOOOOOO money), Jordan (Two words: Mars Blackmon... “Yo money, it’s gotta be the shoes) and Namath (he may have been the most overrated football player ever, but dude had off-the-charts charisma).

Retired stars: Barkley, Shaq, Jordan and Arnie Palmer (dude is still pitching product and cashing checks)

From sportsfan

Jay - Friday mailbag query...Rushmore of Masters experience? Put me down for the Par-3 Tourney, pimento cheese sandwiches, skipping balls across the pond at 16 during practice rounds, and the awesome in its awesomeness of the grounds.

Such a great question and nearly impossible to peg it to four. But we’re into the impossible. Let’s give this a go and swing from our shoes.

Rushmore of Masters traditions:

• Lunch with a beer, $5. You can’t put this into words for the sports fan who attends any sporting event of any merit, and all professional sports events. No joke, you can get a pimento cheese sammich, chips and a beer and plop down an Abe Lincoln and all is square. Know what this would run you at a late April Braves game? We’ll guess 12 bucks, at least.

• The family and the frivolity of the par 3. Seeing those little kids in those little caddie coveralls putting out (and putting like Uch) is awesome in its awesomeness.

• The love the players — and especially the great players — of this event. There’s nothing like the respect between the legends and this legendary course. It makes even more special, even when you think that is not possible.

• That this tournament is won by excellence on the back nine on Sundays. The roars through the Georgia pines, the birdies and the bogeys that generate discernible audible definitions that are known whether you are greenside or across town.

(Bonus one: The piano music CBS plays. And “A tradition unlike any other” is a money tag line.)

—————

From CTI

Loved the photo of the little 5-at-10 playing baseball. Remember my time coaching little league, and as you say, Good times.

If you could give him one athletic gift (not “be a great quarterback” -- instead think like “he can run a 4.35 40”) what would it be?

Thanks for the 5-at-10, it’s a regular part of my morning.

CTI —

Great question. One gift, huh?

This has to be designed with the intended finish being the person in question being a professional athlete, right?

Our first thought was the perfect golf swing, but even with the perfect golf swing you could get the yips and that would only let you dominate the local Saturday game.

Great speed could help pay for an education, and that’s nice, but there are a slew of fast guys that we have never heard of.

One gift, huh? OK, we’ll turn lil’ 5-at-10’s left arm into a thunderbolt. That’s right, we’ll take our chances on teaching him how to control his pitches if he is able to throw a 95-plus mph heater.

————

From Josh

What’s the biggest difference in the Masters course about being there and watching on TV?

Thanks, and I’m looking forward to your radio show with Paschal. You guys were always great on SportsTalk.

Josh —

Thanks for the kind words, and we’re hoping the radio thing works. We’ll see.

The hills at Augusta are way, Way, WAY more severe than they appear on TV, and that affect is two fold. One it’s a way tougher course than it appears to walk. Two, the rolling hills in the fairways allow from a lot of uneven lies. Not bad lies mind you — no the grounds here are perfect — but uphill or downhill lies.

The undulations of the greens are quite severe too, but that is kind of understood. (Side note: The breaks of some of these greens are so great, Steven Fox said he started one putt 25 feet outside the hole.)

————

J in Hixson

Dude, I’m intrigued about this radio show you mentioned. What are you and Paschall going to talk about? This is not going to take the place of the 5@10 is it? I’ll be listening.

J in Hixson —

No, we’re still planning on banging out the 5-at-10 on a daily basis. In fact this edition is the 644th consecutive Monday-through-Friday there has been a 5-at-10 on the timesfreepress.com website. We enjoy the banter.

We’ll talk a lot of college football and a lot of local sports of all walks of life. We got a few questions in the works for the first week, and that second week we’ll likely discuss some draft stuff. Hey, we love the draft, you know this.

————

From Fred

OK, you asked us for the best quotes from Caddyshack — “I feel like a hundred dollars” or “Right in the lumber yard” — so I want to know who you think had the best acting performance in that movie?

Thanks for the 5-at-10 and looking forward to the radio show.

Fred —

Thanks for the kind words and feel free to call in next week and ask us anything. The number is 648-1051.

Best acting performance, huh?

We have to go Ted Knight. Chevy and Rodney were great but that felt like them acting like Chevy and Rodney, you know? Bill Murray as Carl Spackler was great — and they all get major credit for the river of ad libbing they did.

Still Ted Knight was aces.

Most underrated — dude who played Bishop Bickering. “My name is Fred, and I’m a man same as you.”

————

From PDavi

When I was 14 I was the best on my block at the Nintendo game Mario Kart. I held my head high in the hours it took to achieve what I thought at the time was the rewards of time well spent. What do you make of Tianlang Guan?

P.S. I can't even shoot +1 at High Point, let alone at Augusta (which looked beautiful yesterday).

PDavi —

Amen guy. For those scratching their heads about the interest in PDavi’s MarioKart exploits, well, his 14-year-old achievements are in reference to Tianlang Guan, who shot 73 here yesterday as a 14-year-old 8th grader. Read that sentence again.

This got us thinking: What’s the Rushmore of 14-year-old performances? We’ll go Guan’s, Doogie Howser (yes, it’s TV but still... a doctor in middle school?), and Tatum O’Neal as Amanda in Bad News Bears and Danny Almonte in the Little League World Series (granted he was 14 against 12-year-olds, but he was pretty nasty).

Just outstanding

It was fun to watch, and we’re headed out this morning to follow the lad.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

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chas9 said...

Excellent answers all around, but you must make room for Mr. Coffee DiMaggio, and George Foreman gets some kind of award.

April 12, 2013 at 11:59 a.m.
ordinaryguy said...

Henry Wilcoxon played Bishop Pickering in Caddyshack...he also was in The Ten Commandments, the original Cleopatra in 1934, and Mrs. Minniver...a great character actor who does have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

April 12, 2013 at 12:39 p.m.
jgreeson said...

9er —

If you are pitching your own product does that make you and advertiser or a BID-ness man.

Mr. Coffee is a pretty good call. Although we bet it was pretty painful for a ballplayer of Joe D's pride and extreme skill to be know as Mr. Coffee to an entire generation.

OG —

That's good intel. He was awesome. Everyone was awesome in that movie. It was as good as Caddyshack 2 was bad.

April 12, 2013 at 12:44 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Ten Ring, glad you're enjoying Augusta.

We'll start with your first question: I'm okay with the concept of a 5 at 10: Weekend on special occasions where a major sporting event falls on the weekends. But in most cases the answer is no. My reason being is I don't follow the 5 at 10 when I'm not at work or when I'm on vacation or doing the usual weekend activites. I can't speak for everyone else but I'm sure some of my reasons would fall in line with the other posters. in this case with the masters, Twitter would be a valid use. If I owned an i-whatever and could post stats for a hotly contested Rangers game for the TFP, I would do it.

Regarding your Rushmore of sports pitchmen, can't leave out Nolen Ryan. While nationally he's known for both Flexall and funny Jim Reynolds umpire story, he does a TON of local spots here in Texas during local game broadcasts. My personal favorite is him speaking Spanish for the Spanish-version of the $1.00 Hot Dog Nights. He's not fluent bilingual so it sounds well...you get the idea.

Regarding Jordan, my two favorite spots are the one with Little Richard as the genie (my friends and I would mimic that one while play HORSE or whatever). The other is "Because of my many failures, I am my greatest success" spot.

Tianlang Guan: I caught his bio-package late last night either on ESPN or Golf Channel. Definitely a prodogy to the nth degree. Also, you screwed up royally on Doogie's plotline. The story is told through a series of newspaper clippings starting with him scoring a perfect on the SATs at age 6. Then another shows him completing high school in nine weeks at age 10. He then passes the medical board at 14 and then goes into full practice at age 16. His friends on the other hand, were all in high school. One of my favorites along with the Wonder Years since it literally parelleled with my teenage years.

Finally, I heard JR stating Steven was ranked 70 at the conclusion of yesterdays standings. Is that normal given his current level of expertise?

April 12, 2013 at 12:50 p.m.
Stewwie said...

[Is there any interest in a weekend 5-at-10 or do we play like the new kids and interact on The Twitter (@jgreesontfp)?]

This sounds cheesy, but I would vote no to the weekend 5@10s just because of the "tradition" of being a M-F blog. It seems a bit ironic that you're at the Masters and you are contemplating breaking tradition with something...haha. However, if there's enough interest for it, feel free to pop out a couple of extra entries over the weekend.

[What’s the Rushmore of 14-year-old performances?]

I'm not really a soccer kind of guy, but wasn't Freddy Adu 14 when he started whipping up on the big boys? Not sure where he is now but he looked then like he was eventually going to be the best in the world.

My favorite Jordan commercial is the one where he's playing one-on-one with his younger self. A Wizards Jordan vs. a young Bulls Jordan. Lots of trash talk and good moves. And then at the end, a North Carolina Jordan walks in and says, "Who's got next?"

Jay, who are all the non-golfer celebrities that you've seen so far at the Masters this year?

April 12, 2013 at 1:13 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, couple of quick hits. First, did you see the Quentiin-Greinke dust up and what do you make of your Dodgers' chances/rotation now?

Also - aside from your scorecards from your rounds at Augusta National - what is your favorite personal piece of Masters memorabilia? Thanks, and I'll hang up and wait for your answer.

April 12, 2013 at 1:24 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Spy —

Greinke's collar bone hurts, no doubt.

This will generate some real discuss about "charging" the mound and resulting injury. Mattingly wants Quentin to sit as long as Greinke has to. That won't happen but something will. And if it doesn't, Monday night when the Padres visit Dodgers Stadium, there will be fireworks.

Favorite Masters memorabilia — probably the stuff we buy the 5-at-10 tots. It's awesome in its awesomeness.

Stewwie —

Lindsey Vonn was here yesterday; haven't seen here today, but Tiger just went off the first tee.

Freddy is a nice call.

We're going to punt the weekend 5-at-10. We will update the Twitter (@jgreesontfp) as much as possible.

April 12, 2013 at 1:59 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, we were discussing in my office the other day just how cheaply you can eat and drink on the grounds at Augusta National. It's astounding how dirt cheap the concessions prices are. Now there's your throwback in time.

So how's the press room food this year?

And since I was running through the mailbag quickly - my waitress and another waitress kept me busy because they like to talk - where was the love for Aaron "Discount Double Check" Rodgers?

April 12, 2013 at 2:36 p.m.
GratefulDawg said...

I pondered the Rushmore of retired athletes turned pitchmen for a second and the names just started rolling in. Bob Uecker. Dick Butkus. Bubba Smith. Billy Martin. Boog Powell. John Madden. It occurred to me that I wasn't thinking so much of individual pitchmen as I was having flashbacks to those Miller Lite commercials of the 1970s and '80s. Those were solid spots for years and when you threw Rodney Dangerfield into the mix The Miller Brewing Company had struck advertising gold.

That Lite ad featuring 49ers center Randy Cross in which no one recognized him until he bent over to pick up a ladies purse was particularly on-point and a favorite amongst offensive linemen everywhere.

April 12, 2013 at 2:58 p.m.
jgreeson said...

GD —

Great call. The Miller Lite ads changed the game — like Tecmo Bowl did for video games.

Spy —

You're right. We're wrong. Discount Double check should be there if for no other reason than the cameo of B.J. Raji....

Show 'em whatcha got Ra-gee, Ra-gee.

April 12, 2013 at 3:19 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Why do I get the feeling I'm being excommunicated for some reason?

April 12, 2013 at 4:42 p.m.
Todd962 said...

Saturday post with only the post cut contest update would be really cool, but might not be justified with the time consumption for your part. I am sure your days are pretty full with dipping pimento cheese sandwiches in your beer while aimlessly wandering between the pines, or at least thats what i'd be doing while screaming "Get in the hole!"

JMC- No soup for you.

April 12, 2013 at 5:08 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...

T_T HaHa Todd

April 12, 2013 at 5:17 p.m.
jgreeson said...

JMC —

Nothing but love for you. We're just moving very quickly today.

Todd —

What are you talking about? We're back in Chattanooga in our jammie pants watching on TV and making snarky comments. MA! MEATLOAF!.

You stay classy Augusta.

If we get the chance we'll update the scores. Deal? Deal.

April 12, 2013 at 5:59 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Ten Ring-

Just checking. Two no responses in two days on two comments conspiracy on the six. :P

Saw the latest update. Sadly, Mr. Fox and the next-gen Goonie is about to conclude their Masters debute in a matter of hours. D:

April 12, 2013 at 6:13 p.m.
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