We're moving quickly today because of a slew of work assignments that include but are not limited to our morning gig of writing a family-oriented, interweb-based sports column, our daytime gig of being a sports department employee, our afternoon gig talking sports with College Football Rainman, David Paschall, on Press Row from 1-3 p.m. on 105.1 FM and our all night gig of doing our high school preview magazine. Giddy up.
As Pop 5-at-10 used to always say, "Better to be busy than bored."
Amen and pass the busy.
From the "Talks too much" studios, we'll continue the Burt Reynolds riff and offer, Let's do it for Caretaker.
Five biggest famous dolts walking
We'll start today with a top-five offering. We're also interested in your thoughts on this list.
Ladies and gentleman, here is our August version of the top five folks who simply need to go away for a while. Take a holiday. Submerse yourself in practice or work. Say no to a couple of interviews for a change.
Just take a step back and evaluate and breathe.
5) Alex Trebek. Dude, your condescending tone on Jeopardy is fine for the adults. It's almost expected. But to the middle schoolers? Be better than that. Oh yeah. Also remember that pretending you're a smarty pants when you already have the answers is not the same thing as being the smarty pants that KNOWS the answers.
4) The other 12 cheaters suspended Monday. They have collectively gotten a pass because A-Rod is holding the Poo-Storm umbrella. Well, forget that and the rest of you deserve to be called what you are — cheaters. In fact, former Phillies reliever Dan Meyer, who lost a bullpen spot to the recently suspended (and aptly named) Antonio Bastardo (anyone know what that could mean in Spanish?), called out the whole lot with his social media directive to Mr. Bastardo. Meyer's Tweet Monday: "Hey, Antonio Bastardo, remember when we competed for a job in 2001.Thx alot. #ahole" Well-played indeed, Mr. Meyer. (Side note: Mr. Bastardo is an awesome code name for a lot of folks. You that, we're using code names.)
3) Johnny Manziel's lackey. Dude, whomever is in Johnny Football's entourage that is making demands that he needs dough for dotting his I's needs to lay low. Just take the blame. Say Johnny wasn't invovled and all will be right with the world. Don't be that other guy that calls ESPN OTL. Don't do it.
2) A-Rod. While we all know his extreme schmoe-tastic-ness (Yep, we're pretty sure we made that one up), only A-Rod could enter Monday night's circus and actually make it worse by talking about how he's a human being and he's fighting for his life. It was a mea dolta that harkened an image of a hybrid combo of the Elephant Man and Jose Canseco. "I am not a Manimal."
1) Justin Bieber. Dude. Go away. You and your posse find trouble on the rough and tumble streets outside of a night club in the Hamptons? Really? You're so street kid, with your flat bill and leather britches and nine-figure bank account. A street brawl in the Hamptons? Thug Life? Nope, 'Lil Jussie is living the Ugh Life. Oh Brother.
Break up the Braves
OK, it's official. The Braves are good.
We have debated their merits all year. They have good but not great pitching. They have good players and elite depth. They strike out a ton. The injuries leave a few question marks in the bullpen.
Those questions are meaningless this morning after the Braves topped the Nationals 3-2 Monday for their 11th consecutive win. Atlanta's divisional lead is 13.5 games, and it all but choked the life out of the team many thought would be the class of the NL East.
Freddie Freeman, a guy that is making a sneaky MVP case, drove in two runs off Nationals ace Stephen Strasburg, said the Braves want to "step on their necks" and "can expand [the lead] a little bit more."
The Braves had the largest divisional lead on Aug. 4 since 2005 when the White Sox led the AL Central by 14 games according to STATS.
Heck, even Justin Upton had three hits and the game-winning homer Monday night.
Good times indeed.
For the longest time the biggest hurdle facing sports leagues trying to eradicate PEDs was that science was developing new products quicker than they were developing new tests for the banned products.
Anyone with a working knowledge of the money racket that is today's pharmaceutical ponzi scheme is hardly shocked by that news.
Baseball used the information gleaned from informants in the Biogenesis investigation to activate suspensions for 12 players Monday and try to suspend A-Rod until the end of the 2014 season.
Maybe it's time that baseball and the players union look seriously at the entire PEDs investigation process.
Let's pay informants who produce credible information that leads to suspensions. Take a fund from the teams and the players unions. Offer $1 million bucks for anyone with evidence of MLB players using PEDs.
Because let's face it, until they take a bold and active step to make us believe there is more than hand-wringing, posturing and an intense hatred of A-Rod, PEDs will always be a problem.
This and that
— Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin was asked about the possibility of sitting Johnny Manziel amid the NCAA investigations that are swirling about whether Johnny Football/Hangover/Merchandise/Drama profited from signed memorabilia. Sumlin said it was a decision to be made by numerous people, which is true and fair. What is more telling is that Texas A&M hired the attorney that represented Auburn in the Cam Newton investigations in 2010. If you're an Aggies fan, that's the best off-the-field news of the offseason. Those guys are the Johnny Cochran of the NCAA world. "If Johnny's legit, don't make him sit."
— Mike Dyer, the former Auburn hero of the BCS title game and recent Arkansas Baptist College grad, has resurfaced at Louisville under a "zero-tolerance" policy, according to Cards coach Charlie Strong. Kind of a risky move for a team that already will be favored in every game, but one that could pay off in grand style. If he is close to the physical presence that had back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons for Auburn 2010 and '11, Dyer and quarterback Teddy Bridgewater give Louisville a backfield as good as anyone's.
— Jeremy Hill was re-instated at LSU after his most recent run in the with the law. Les Miles said little about the decision other than the punishment would be internal. Since the Mad Hatter was not available for comment, let's ask Channel 4 News weatherman Brick Tamland. "I love lamp."
OK, we're going to do a little research while asking today's question.
As always feel free to chime in on any and the above topics.
If you're looking for a talking point, start here:
On your college football team of choice, who is going to be a breakout star and why? Thanks and remember Friday's mailbag.
Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...