published Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

5-at-10: Our "Just go away" list, the Braves rock, new PED approach and asking about college football breakout stars

We're moving quickly today because of a slew of work assignments that include but are not limited to our morning gig of writing a family-oriented, interweb-based sports column, our daytime gig of being a sports department employee, our afternoon gig talking sports with College Football Rainman, David Paschall, on Press Row from 1-3 p.m. on 105.1 FM and our all night gig of doing our high school preview magazine. Giddy up.

As Pop 5-at-10 used to always say, "Better to be busy than bored."

Amen and pass the busy.

From the "Talks too much" studios, we'll continue the Burt Reynolds riff and offer, Let's do it for Caretaker.

Five biggest famous dolts walking

We'll start today with a top-five offering. We're also interested in your thoughts on this list.

Ladies and gentleman, here is our August version of the top five folks who simply need to go away for a while. Take a holiday. Submerse yourself in practice or work. Say no to a couple of interviews for a change.

Just take a step back and evaluate and breathe.

5) Alex Trebek. Dude, your condescending tone on Jeopardy is fine for the adults. It's almost expected. But to the middle schoolers? Be better than that. Oh yeah. Also remember that pretending you're a smarty pants when you already have the answers is not the same thing as being the smarty pants that KNOWS the answers.

4) The other 12 cheaters suspended Monday. They have collectively gotten a pass because A-Rod is holding the Poo-Storm umbrella. Well, forget that and the rest of you deserve to be called what you are — cheaters. In fact, former Phillies reliever Dan Meyer, who lost a bullpen spot to the recently suspended (and aptly named) Antonio Bastardo (anyone know what that could mean in Spanish?), called out the whole lot with his social media directive to Mr. Bastardo. Meyer's Tweet Monday: "Hey, Antonio Bastardo, remember when we competed for a job in 2001.Thx alot. #ahole" Well-played indeed, Mr. Meyer. (Side note: Mr. Bastardo is an awesome code name for a lot of folks. You that, we're using code names.)

3) Johnny Manziel's lackey. Dude, whomever is in Johnny Football's entourage that is making demands that he needs dough for dotting his I's needs to lay low. Just take the blame. Say Johnny wasn't invovled and all will be right with the world. Don't be that other guy that calls ESPN OTL. Don't do it.

2) A-Rod. While we all know his extreme schmoe-tastic-ness (Yep, we're pretty sure we made that one up), only A-Rod could enter Monday night's circus and actually make it worse by talking about how he's a human being and he's fighting for his life. It was a mea dolta that harkened an image of a hybrid combo of the Elephant Man and Jose Canseco. "I am not a Manimal."

1) Justin Bieber. Dude. Go away. You and your posse find trouble on the rough and tumble streets outside of a night club in the Hamptons? Really? You're so street kid, with your flat bill and leather britches and nine-figure bank account. A street brawl in the Hamptons? Thug Life? Nope, 'Lil Jussie is living the Ugh Life. Oh Brother.


Break up the Braves

  • photo
    Atlanta Braves' Justin Upton hits a solo home run during the eighth inning of a baseball game against the Washington Nationals at Nationals Park in Washington.
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

OK, it's official. The Braves are good.

We have debated their merits all year. They have good but not great pitching. They have good players and elite depth. They strike out a ton. The injuries leave a few question marks in the bullpen.

Those questions are meaningless this morning after the Braves topped the Nationals 3-2 Monday for their 11th consecutive win. Atlanta's divisional lead is 13.5 games, and it all but choked the life out of the team many thought would be the class of the NL East.

Freddie Freeman, a guy that is making a sneaky MVP case, drove in two runs off Nationals ace Stephen Strasburg, said the Braves want to "step on their necks" and "can expand [the lead] a little bit more."

The Braves had the largest divisional lead on Aug. 4 since 2005 when the White Sox led the AL Central by 14 games according to STATS.

Heck, even Justin Upton had three hits and the game-winning homer Monday night.

Good times indeed.


PED idea

For the longest time the biggest hurdle facing sports leagues trying to eradicate PEDs was that science was developing new products quicker than they were developing new tests for the banned products.

Anyone with a working knowledge of the money racket that is today's pharmaceutical ponzi scheme is hardly shocked by that news.

Baseball used the information gleaned from informants in the Biogenesis investigation to activate suspensions for 12 players Monday and try to suspend A-Rod until the end of the 2014 season.

Maybe it's time that baseball and the players union look seriously at the entire PEDs investigation process.

Let's pay informants who produce credible information that leads to suspensions. Take a fund from the teams and the players unions. Offer $1 million bucks for anyone with evidence of MLB players using PEDs.

Because let's face it, until they take a bold and active step to make us believe there is more than hand-wringing, posturing and an intense hatred of A-Rod, PEDs will always be a problem.


This and that

— Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin was asked about the possibility of sitting Johnny Manziel amid the NCAA investigations that are swirling about whether Johnny Football/Hangover/Merchandise/Drama profited from signed memorabilia. Sumlin said it was a decision to be made by numerous people, which is true and fair. What is more telling is that Texas A&M hired the attorney that represented Auburn in the Cam Newton investigations in 2010. If you're an Aggies fan, that's the best off-the-field news of the offseason. Those guys are the Johnny Cochran of the NCAA world. "If Johnny's legit, don't make him sit."

— Mike Dyer, the former Auburn hero of the BCS title game and recent Arkansas Baptist College grad, has resurfaced at Louisville under a "zero-tolerance" policy, according to Cards coach Charlie Strong. Kind of a risky move for a team that already will be favored in every game, but one that could pay off in grand style. If he is close to the physical presence that had back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons for Auburn 2010 and '11, Dyer and quarterback Teddy Bridgewater give Louisville a backfield as good as anyone's.

— Jeremy Hill was re-instated at LSU after his most recent run in the with the law. Les Miles said little about the decision other than the punishment would be internal. Since the Mad Hatter was not available for comment, let's ask Channel 4 News weatherman Brick Tamland. "I love lamp."

Today's question

OK, we're going to do a little research while asking today's question.

As always feel free to chime in on any and the above topics.

If you're looking for a talking point, start here:

On your college football team of choice, who is going to be a breakout star and why? Thanks and remember Friday's mailbag.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Buschleague said...

5--Is there a major contest for this weeks golf 'minor'? Say a tall boy Busch lite on El Tigre' getting 15 or not?

August 6, 2013 at 10:25 a.m.
chas9 said...

If Johnny plays in Canada this year, he could prosper. UT great Condredge Holloway was a star with the Ottawa Rough Riders. On a trans-Canada trek I picked up the Ottawa newspaper and it featured a full-page front of the section story on the guy.

On the other hand, he may skate by since A&M has lawyered up with the same team of shysters who kept Cam eligible.

And David is an excellent driver.

August 6, 2013 at 10:27 a.m.
jgreeson said...

From friend of the show StuckinKent —

You know that Biogenesis has reported giving PEDs to players from other leagues too? The NBA, NCAA, tennis, and then the fighting sports all were linked to it. How many of those have expressed any interest in suspending anyone involved? How many have even called to say, "Can you get me that list?" None. Zero. To me, MLB is taking the brunt of this, but it is a problem across all sports. The double standard is astounding.

College football is getting closer. Has there ever been a bigger first game for Vanderbilt than their Thursday night home tilt with Ole Miss? A win, and the Commodores are 1-0 in the SEC against one of the darkhorse SEC West teams (meaning they are likely to finish third or fourth in the division). Ole Miss is a good team too. This should be very interesting. I can't wait for that one.

I'll get you the computer Top 25 preseason rankings sometime this week. Let's just say that there are a couple of surprises. Let's also say that I think Texas A&M is woefully overrated by any poll or ranking system at this point. Looks like Arkansas from last year in the making to me.

August 6, 2013 at 10:29 a.m.
LaughingBoy said...

ESPN interrupting the Cardinals and Dodgers to show some bum from the Yankees batting sickened me worse than cole slaw.

August 6, 2013 at 10:32 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

From the 5 at 10 Dallas Office across from the soon-to-be ex-home of the Dallas Cowboys on "Curry Row" (down with the brown while they walk in groups all day and all night; seriously, North Irving is the "New" New Delhi).

A-Rod is more back page then anything. Cruz was one of the players receiving the 50 game suspension and it is ALL OVER page 1 on the DMN. If I can snag a copy, I'll send some clips.

College football predictions.

WR: While Jacob will have multiple targets this year, I feel this is T-Rob's year to Pokemon evolve into Jerry Rice 2.0. He's got the speed as long as he can at least hang on to the ball. Johnny's Jury is still out regarding a break out running back.

Defense: Toss up between Derrick Lott and Gunner Miller. I wouldn't want to be a QB in the Southern Conference this year that's for sure.

August 6, 2013 at 11:06 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Regarding Bieber. Seriously, the WHOLE music industry need to go away for a while. I think Bieber just likes getting in trouble because no one is talking about his music (unless you're a 8-12 year old girl) and everything is being "overshadowed" by Blurred Lines.

August 6, 2013 at 11:18 a.m.
MocTastic said...

Hey AROD, please just SHUT UP! Go to a children's cancer hospital and see what it is like to fight for your life. If you were broke and couldn't put food on your table for your family I might buy the fighting for your life schtick, but you have millions. So, please just shut up and get your $170,000 per game and don't make us listen to your whine.

August 6, 2013 at 11:51 a.m.
Stewwie said...

Ditto on A-Rod, MT.

While Alex Trebek shouldn't have said that the kid "badly misspelled" his answer (the kid simply added one extra letter), it's hard to feel bad for the kid since he's now complaining that he was "cheated" out of $3,000. Dude, you have to spell your answer correctly to get it right. Trebek and the judges aren't going to bend the rules just for you. And no, you didn't get cheated. Heaven forbid that the kid should admit that it's his own fault.

Mrs. Stewwie and I sometimes watch Jeopardy during or after dinner and we have always wondered how Trebek would do if he were one of the contestants. He'd quickly realize that it's not so easy when you don't have all the answers (or for this game, the questions) right in front of you.

August 6, 2013 at 1:46 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Stewwie, I used to listen to KMOX, the famous ST Louis radio station late at night to listen to the Cardinals or on Sunday nights, a triva show that was co-hosted by Art Fleming. Art was brutal in his opinion of Alex Trebek, basically calling him a colossal jerk. Art of course was the first, and best, host of Jeopardy.

Which brings up another question, how many of you grew listening to AM radio to listen to baseball games at night all over the country? In Chattanooga you could get KMOX in St Louis with the Cardinals, 1100 on your dial. The Braves were found at 750 AM, and you could also listen to the Cincy Reds, Cleveland Indians, and occasionally the Philadelphia Phillies. I even remember getting the Arkansas Travelers on AM radio out of Little Rock, Texas League AA baseball.

I would bet that NO kids today do that, that generation has passed, but I remember laying in bed, dark room, during baseball season traveling all over the country via my little transistor radio listening to baseball.

August 6, 2013 at 2:10 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

In defense of Trebek (so your's mother, Trebek), if you listen to him on the answers, he expounds on many of them and he does travel a lot when they do the "clue crew" (kind of gimmicky but it's grown on me). Besides, spelling does count. So sit down, Waldo.

I am not a Manimal. Nice touch, 5.

Louisville's graduation rate already is one of the worst, if not the worst, in FBS. And Mr. Dyer is going to help that how? How soon before Loo-uh-vull is told to cough up a couple of schollies each year because of their lack of devotion to the books?

Johnny Football better hurry up. We're not that far away from the Grey Cup in the CFL.

Better name - Bastardo? Or Carlos Danger? (Now pitching for the Marlins, Danger ... Carlos Danger....) That's even better than Ron Mexico. Which is not as good as Plaxico Mexico.

The Beebs in any kind of fight? Slap or tickle variety? Dude wouldn't last two seconds in a Dorchester street fight. And none of that is gonna bring back the lovely Miss Gomez, haircut boy.

Breakout star - Lee. Vad Lee.

August 6, 2013 at 2:11 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Miss Gomez = beard if you ask me and I am not saying if that is good or bad, just sayin'.

August 6, 2013 at 2:15 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...

MT- A little before my time unfortunately. I didn't even start being interested in baseball until my mid-teens. Since I was born in the mid 70s, by the time I was regular listener to radio, FM had pretty much taken over. The only time the Cook household listened to AM was 1150 back when Rush use to be funny for the sake of general satire and Jeff from time to time (marriage #1 two daughters, pre-Kyle and Lucus; yeah THAT long ago). As a kid-kid (9-14) everyone listened to KZ106 and the "Gold Card" was like the closest thing to a credit card we had (the DECADES before pre-paid debit cards like kids have today).

But back to subject at hand, those that were at best 10 years older then me clearly remember picking up AM signals from timbucktwo that are impossible to do today.

August 6, 2013 at 2:38 p.m.
WilliamRscott said...


On autumn Saturday nights, on my way home from the game of the day, I still listen to LSU football on WWL, the Big 870, out of NOLA.


August 6, 2013 at 2:53 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Great stuff today.

Too much to go nit for pick across the board.

My favorite Sir Alex Trebek story (which is something to be from Canada and all) is this:

Category was Jews in Sports. The answer was "This pitcher was the youngest man elected into the baseball hall of fame."

Egghead buzzes in and says, "Who is Hank Aaron?"

Trebek deadpans: "Sorry. Hank Aaron was not a pitcher. Better luck next time."

Vad Lee is going to be special.

Mrs. Gomez as a beard... well-played indeed.

As for the radio station, well, we were listening to 750 AM in September 1980 when Larry Munson went on and on about some 18-year-old's thighs. My God a freshman.


August 6, 2013 at 3:51 p.m.
jrrosevols said...


my dad used to go outside at night and listen to games on am radio in the car because it would pick up better at night. I would go out and lay in the seat and go to sleep listening to the Braves game or the Tigers with Ernie Harwell on the mic. great memories.

August 6, 2013 at 11:29 p.m.
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