published Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013

5-at-10: UTC football, Mike Dyer sighting and LL Cool J as the Elvis of rap

We're hoping to fill the mailbag before we hit the road heading South to Lake Martin, so if you got a question, shoot. You ask, we'll answer, no big whoop.

There's a lot to get to, so buckle up.

Before we get going, we heard an oldie, but a goldie the other day — L.L. Cool J's "I'm Bad" — and realized that LL may be the Elvis of rap and Run DMC may have been the Beatles. Discuss

From the "Talks to much" studios, and as L.L. taught us many moons ago, "Got concrete rhymes; been rappin for years and even when we're braggin' we're being sincere."

Comfortable college football countdown: UTC, Day 2

We started last week looking at college football schools of area interest. We examined Auburn last week. This week, we have UTC.

We know there are some vested Johnny Mocs Fans in the crowd, so we'll open the floor for any and all discussion.

Following last week's loose formula, we spent Tuesday talking about concerns. The Mocs are full of experience and talent, but there are questions. Yes, Virginia, there is a (Santa) cause for concern.

First, and we touched on this Monday, but it's the Mocs No. 1 concern right now: Who will make plays other than Nos. 14 and 17?

This is the big on-the-field question and it's bigger than any elephant in any room. (Well other than the scenario Todd962 described on The Twitter last night when he offered this: ‏


Bring your baby to the bar? Not a first. Whip a [breast] out and nurse it? Thought I'd seen it all. #floored

Of course our answer was, maybe the kid's momma is from Moscow and the tot ordered a White Russian. Thank you, thank you.)

Where were we? Oh yeah, the Mocs. Like MocTastic, we have high hopes for new offensive coordinator Jeff Durden and the formations and calls of a spread-friendly plan. That said, if the postgame news conferences include no mentions of offensive Mocs other than Huesman and Robinson, well, the SoCon is a tough row when you only have two offensive options.

  • photo
    UTC's Keon Williams, 22, picks his way through the Georgia Southern line.
    Photo by Jake Daniels /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

  • photo
    James Stovall
    Photo by Dan Henry.
    enlarge photo

Enter Keon Williams and James Stovall — the two cats we discussed Monday.

We've been a big fan of Stovall's work since his days at Bradley Central. Kid was one of those players that you knew the ball was coming his way and you still couldn't stop it.

As for Williams, here's saying the light has come on and the power back from Red Bank is ready to deliver.

The other question we have deals with whether this team is ready to handle the expectations of success. Is UTC ready to carry the bull's eye of being the hunted? Yes, we quickly and readily admit that this question is the product of five years of work from everyone involved in the program, and that we're even asking this question is a hallmark of the strides made.

Still, if those strides are to continue, dealing with the pressure and the expectation of winning must be handled.

What questions do you have Johnny Mocs Fans? Are you worried about the transition from consistently solid to solidly contending for a title? Are you worried about nothing more than making sure you have your playoff tickets?


Moving on up

Speaking of the hometown Mocs, well, speaking of hometowns anyway, we'd be remiss if we did not mention this.

The Mr. and Mrs. 5-at-10 Sr. — the Ward and June 5-at-10s — officially sold their house today. Yep the house they built in 1973 and in which they lived for the last 40 years.

They sold 3800 Ridge Road in Smyrna and will be officially moved to the 423 around 4 p.m. this afternoon.

We say welcome home 2.0. And thank you for providing such a great place for a family-oriented, interweb-based sports columnist to grow up.

To the tens and maybe even hundreds of thousands of jumpers we hoisted in the driveway to the lack of a yard that meant we didn't have to cut grass to the watching Flutie's Hail Mary in our room or the ball trickle through Buckner's legs in the basement.

Or the meals and talks and times of having a real home. Good times.

And more good times to come. Welcome to Chattanooga, June and Ward 5-at-10.


Artist formerly known as Mike Dyer

Former Auburn stud duck and problem-child Mike Dyer is looking for a third chance.

After being dismissed from the Tigers after rushing for more than 1,000 yards in each of his first two seasons, Dyer followed Gus Malzahn to Arkansas State and was dismissed from there. He's proven to be a five-tool troublemaker, falling behind on his studies, reportedly failing drug tests, owning the gun that was used in the infamous Wire Road drug heist by the former Auburn players a month after winning the national title, and has been in trouble with the law.

Let's say this, as a person, Mike Dyer seems to be a heckuva running back, and he's not going to be among the first few choices to watch our kids in teh future.

After leaving Arkansas State after another disagreement with a law-enforcement officer, Dyer landed at Arkansas Baptitst and sat out the 2013 football season while, as he told ESPN's Jose Schad, he focused on school and on stopping his synthetic marijuana habit.

Dyer wants to get back into football because, now that his head appears no longer to be a think candy shell filled with beer and bong resin, the idea is pretty clear that an NFL career will be far more lucrative than anything his Arkansas Baptist two-year degree can generate.

So there are some interesting schools being tossed out, including Western Kentucky, which is coached by Bobby Petrino, who should be happy to give someone a third chance since he's the nine-lives, black cat of the coaching world. (Side note: If Bobby P. does land Dyer, and Dyer has cleaned up his act — two huge ifs mind you — here's saying that offense will click sooner rather than later.)



This and that

— Got in late to the discussion on The Twitter about Dwight Howard. The thoughts of him landing in Atlanta — as friend of the show Wells Guthrie from 105.1 FM here in town suggested — make sense, and we agree with Wells that Houston is likely the ultimate destination.

— Serena Williams was bounced from Wimbledon on Monday, ending a 34-match winning streak. After spending a Best of Preps evening with the larger-than-life Serena, well, let's just say we shed no tears over Monday's outcome.

— Andy Pettitte now has passed the great Whitey Ford for the Yankees career strikeout mark. Is Andy Pettitte a Hall of Famer? Discuss.

— Wow, Paula Dean has paid an overwhelming price for a mistake, no?


Today's question

We really were taken aback by the old-school greatness of LL Cool J, and even tried to locate our "Bigger and Deafer" cassette tape. No luck — which is OK because we're pretty sure we do not have a cassette player in the house. What? How is that possible? No cassette player? Next thing you know we won't have a VCR... wait... WHAT?

OK, here are today's questions:

First, who is your Elvis and the Beatles of rap — the guys that took it to the next level across the nation? We stand by LL and Run DMC, but are interested in your thoughts. If you need to trot out a rap Rushmore, we're game.

What are the things that the next generation will have zero reference point to that we grew up with being an everyday thing. Here are a few — the pay phone, cassette tapes, VCRs. We could see a future in which we ask the lil' 5-at-10 about a fax machine and he looks like were talking about black-and-white TV.

Would you want your team to sign Dwight Howard? Would you want your team to give Mike Dyer chance No. 3?

Discuss and remember the mailbag, and when we enter the center they say, yo, yo, there he goes.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
MocTastic said...

There is a freshman kid I really expect to step up and be a playmaker for the Mocs, Alphonso Stewart, 6-3 WR out of Robertsdale AL. Check the video of him at

July 2, 2013 at 10:30 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Ten Ring-

Good set last night and I was a heavy contender in my bracket. Unfortunately, there someone funnier then me so no bank.

Moving on.

Keon will definitely be a vital component in the new offense assuming he do one simple thing: STAY..THE...$#*$...OUT...OF....TROUBLE!! Given what all prior info I've read about Stovall, the guy appears to be the Mocs version of Jerry Rice. But I'd rather see how he handles the field before I make any sound judgements.

Regarding the Mocs as being "the hunted". I have a hard time swallowing that given the current situation with the SoCon. Let us face facts. Huesman, in both my opinion and observation, has conditioned this team to be able to compete with the likes of Georgia Southern and Appy State. Kinda like Rocky conditioning to compete with the likes of Apollo Creed and Clubber Lang. With those two opponents leaving for the Sun Belt, any SoCon championship earned from here on out will be against "bums and cupcakes" as Mickey would probably say.

Now on the other hand, if we start conditioning for FCS national championships, that's a different animal.

I'm still in the base camp for Sun Belt over OVC but lets get through the final stages of rebuilding (not just football but also the round ball + trying to get Blackburn to make it rain and not hail).

I notice we haven't read a lot about Gunner print-wise. I know this much. Besides his playmaking, I'm going to miss those "Seriously Gunner?" promotions. XD

July 2, 2013 at 11:06 a.m.
Todd962 said...

The baby incident was the first thing I had seen in a bar that caught me off guard in a very long time. The people at our table with their backs to it didnt believe me and we were entirely too close to have people turning around to admire. "Hey nice milk sack. You know youre in a bar, right? Yes? Ok, I guess its just that kind of party." Our chances of trivia triumph plummeted drastically following the viewing of the second feeding. Normally I encourage such willingness of exposure but the suckling threw me for a loop. I was waiting for her to notice my bewilderment and drop the "its natural, get over it" line because I was going to explain how it was also natural for my huevos to itch, but I wasnt fixing to flop them on the corner of the table and scratch them with a fork.

If tennis operates like golf, as in the stars drive the ratings, then this Wimbledon is in deep shat if Murray or the Joker get beat. Dont see a lot viewers tuning in for a 11th vs 39th seed final.

Fax machines... "PC Load Letter? What the frik does that mean?" I would say by the time there are cognitive little Todds running around, (God help us.....) that they will have no idea what coins and possibly paper cash is. Electronic currency is the way of the future and likely its demise. How will I buy warm beer with my e-credits after the EMP blast?

July 2, 2013 at 11:23 a.m.
WilliamRscott said...

Sir Todd, your post had me laughing out loud. Maybe Run JMC can come up with a bit from your story. Can you share Lady Todd's opinion on the occasion? You da man!


July 2, 2013 at 12:44 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Additionally, if the Mocs new version of the spread incorporates the Tight End more, look for a breakout season for Faysal Shafat, who is on at least one preseason All American watch list. This kid has NFL hands. The Satterfield version of the spread pretty much ignored the TE as a weapon.

July 2, 2013 at 1:37 p.m.
jgreeson said...

MocTastic —

Could be.

Also, the rangy kid from Nashville. Is he ready to contribute now? The production on the perimeter will be paramount for this offense.


Staying out of the doghouse is the key for Keon.

And while we see your Rocky analogy, are we really at a point where the Mocs can complain about any SoCon football title, regardless who is in the league?

Todd —

Did you use Milk Bags and the Spanish word for eggs (with the fork no less) in the same sentence?

Well-played indeed sir.

July 2, 2013 at 1:40 p.m.
jgreeson said...

MT —

Something tells us you were not exactly heartbroken to see Marcus pack his OC bags.

Truth or fiction?

— 5-at-10

July 2, 2013 at 1:41 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

The SoCon has done told Georgia Southern (and I'm guessing App too) you can go undefeated in the conference all you want this year. But you ain't gonna be conference champs. The Mocs can take the title and the automatic bid and not worry too much about the outcomes against the Eagles or the Cousin-Marriers.

5, was June 5 at 10 the agent for the sale? And will they have their own TVs in their new living room in the 423?

July 2, 2013 at 1:47 p.m.
Stewwie said...

I like the addition of Stovall and I think he'll be a great player for the Mocs. But I've still got some questions on Keon. I don't foresee a breakout season. His breakout season should have been last year, but it didn't happen. Now I think Kenny Huitt should be the man at RB and behind him, Tolerance Shepherd. That kid (Shepherd) turned some heads at the spring game. He plays bigger than he really is and has the speed to take it to the house when he finds the open field.

Any team that pays Dwight Howard the maximum is foolish. That said, I think he'll end up in Houston as well. They'll find a third wheel somewhere to go along with Howard and Harden. Meanwhile, Mitch Kupchak needs to focus on finding players who complement D'Antoni's system in L.A.

I'm no fan of Paula Deen (and neither is Mrs. Stewwie for that matter), but the fallout from what she said is absolutely ridiculous. Are these retailers that offended and unwilling to accept an apology for something said a long time ago? Or are they just that intimidated by the p.c. police in today's America? Either way, it's sad.

July 2, 2013 at 1:53 p.m.
MocTastic said...

JGreeson, after they hired Durden I predicted a few more Moc wins this season than if there had been no changes. Take that as you may.

With respect to your question of the kid from Nashville, you talking the signee from last year Al Thompson, 6-2, out of Brentwood? He was recruited at a higher level than us, but dropped. He remains a mystery to us outsiders.

Somebody to watch is incoming FB Derrick Craine. Again, we must see how this version of the spread works. In the recent past a FB was basically a blocking back occasionally in the game with the occasional swing pass threw his way. This kid reminds many of Wofford All American Eric Breitenstein. Check the video out

Another potential playmaker to watch for will be sophmore WR Tray James. He showed some early flash, but have heard he moved from being on the field to residing in the dog house. The kid has talent, lets see if that translates to results on the field.

July 2, 2013 at 1:58 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Now with respect to Andy Pettite in the HOF. I say no. Was he ever great? No. He was good for a long time. Any season he was pitching if you were told to pick the five best in the game for a starting rotation, would you have picked Andy? Probably not. The HOF should be for the great, not the good or very good. If you have to ask if a player belongs or make the case for a player, they usually don't belong. Those who belong in the HOF are self evident.

July 2, 2013 at 2:11 p.m.
GratefulDawg said...

Was Stovall the Bradley player that went all Knowshon Moreno on a Cleveland defender a couple of years ago? I remember seeing a clip from the Bradley-Cleveland game televised on ESPNU where a Bear hurdled a Raider clean. It was a five-star highlight move.

As for the ladies whippin' 'em out in the bar...I've seen that before, but there were no minors in the room. A couple of miners perhaps, but no kids. Is that like a kegger for a baby? Draft milk. And Todd, in the name of Herschel Walker and all things holy, be careful with that fork!

Let's see, what else...Paula Dean. We have many serious issues in our country. Problems that need to be addressed despite the fact that there are no easy answers and some uncomfortable truths must be faced. It won't be easy, but we must do it. Or...We could hammer this celebrity chef for a while longer and dust that other stuff under the rug. Today's recipe is convenient distraction sacrificial lamb with a side of faux outrage.

July 2, 2013 at 3:22 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Some James Stovall for your viewing pleasure:

July 2, 2013 at 3:43 p.m.
GratefulDawg said...

MocTastic, it looks like UTC landed a good one in Stovall. I particularly like the fact that his highlight reel includes downfield blocking. He has the moves, but is not afraid to lay somebody out for his teammates. Old school never gets old.

July 2, 2013 at 4:03 p.m.
JonathanMCook said...


I appreciate you throwing me that suggestion with Todd's story. However, I'm in the plans on working on some less "adult-oriented" material after myself and a few other comics got into a little bit of an issue (aka people walking out) at one of the local venues. Long story short in regards to said venue: No more material regarding bodily functions (male or female) or jokes about rape, insest, abortion, or excessive cursing (example: one F-bomb per "paragraph" is okay, every other word, no). I have never nor will I ever do a bit about those topics because I don't find any of that material funny but I am guilty of the bodily functions one.


I completely forgot about Faysal Shafat. Yeah, he should have a breakout year if he follows all the reads to a T.


I understand your point, but as I did address once before, it would be like Tennessee winning the SEC championship without having defeated Alabama, LSU, A&M, or Georgia in the process. it would be a win on paper, but the "strength" it took to achive it would not hold a deep respect.


Domo for the highlight reel. I'll have to watch it when I get home.

Paula Deen. In reality, I don't think the fallout would be quite as bad if it was Emerial or Gorden Ramsey or Bobby Flay and the reason being two key factors. 1) She's the stereotypical Southern woman and proud of it. 2) Like the Kardashians, she is the product of media overkill.

At best, how many magazine covers was she on at the very height of her popularity over in the Wal-Mart checkout? With the exact same smile every time?

If anything, it goes to show people "still" think the "Old South" is alive and well complete with guard dogs and fire hoses. It is not nor has been for 45 years. On the retail front, everyone is soo scared of going under they will not risk any contraversy associated with their product name. Which I can understand.

As a comic, we're having a ball with it though. ;)

July 2, 2013 at 5:30 p.m.
Maximus said...

Hopefully our new coordinators will find a way to beat Wofford in the fourth quarter. Last year we had them where we wanted them. Low scoring game, got it to overtime, but......the Mocs (due to some low risk play calling by Satterfield) settled for a field goal. What happened next? The Terriors ran three plays........touchdown! Wofford to the playoffs, Mocs home for the holidays!

Excited about the season I think this is the year where the Huesmans break through. Do we have a good kicker? What happened to Marlon Anthony? A lot of size and talent but has not dominated like Joel Bradford. If Anthony had Bradford's drive and desire he would be unstoppable!

July 2, 2013 at 6:59 p.m.
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