Tom Tozer and Bill BlackDad, you have many jobs. One of them is doing well by your child.
Society often values quantity -- especially when it comes to possessions or work. The more the better. The man who wins is the guy who dies with the most toys.
Well, we're here to tell you that the man who succeeds is the one who places his family ahead of whatever's in second place and learns how to create balance.
So many workplaces value overwork. Sixty-hour workweek? Great. Eighty hours? Better. As Greg McKeown states in his book, "Essentialism": "These days there don't seem to be any boundaries at all regarding when people expect us to be available to work ... But what most people don't realize is that the problem is not just that the boundaries have been blurred; it's that the boundary of work has edged insidiously into family territory."
Our question is this: How can you place your family members in the important position they deserve and create the balance needed for a successful home life if you're giving most of your quality time to someone else?
Sure, work is important. It provides us with a sense of identity, a way to contribute and a salary to support our lifestyle. But it is equally important to have balance in life. It is critical to shift gears downward, to enjoy calm, change the scenery, experience an attitude makeover and re-energize. Truly vacating from the grind puts duties and deadlines on hold and provides us the opportunity to make a better contribution and strengthen the relationship with our family.
How often have we said "Be there for your kids?" You need to spend time with your child. To do that, you must have the time to spend.
With technology whenever and wherever, overwork has become a badge of honor. "I had to work another weekend." "Got in 70 hours last week." "Lost a week of vacation last year." "Just call me Mr. Indispensable."
Working too much can actually make you less productive. That's why vacations were invented. They provide benefit to employees through relaxation, readjustment and renewal.
Smart companies have learned that making sure employees take the vacation time allocated to them is good business. It allows their workers to gain perspective and refuel. Recently, two financial giants known for long employee work hours, Goldman Sachs and Bank of America Merrill Lynch, have recommended that employees limit their overtime and weekend hours. This is a revolutionary concept in the financial world.
So join the movement to balance. Readjust your perspective and give some attention to your family. Carve out some time on a regular basis to goof off with your kids, listen to their thoughts, pay attention to their concerns. The benefits of an involved father are significant. And once you lose the opportunity to connect with your kids, it is gone for good.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of the book "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc.com. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.