Cook: No, Virginia, there isn't a Thanksgiving

photo David Cook

No, Virginia, there isn't a Thanksgiving.

Not this year.

Not if you're a mall worker.

Without any trace of shame, Hamilton Place mall just announced plans to plop itself down, invited, into the middle of our Thanksgiving dinner. Stores will now open at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. At least one will open at 5 p.m.

Black Friday is now preceded by Zero Dark Thursday.

Chattanoogans welcomed the news like a kick to the family jewels.

"Oh [expletive] no," one reader said.

"Boo! Hiss!" said another.

"I'm calling for a boycott," said a third. "Who's with me?"

For years, Thanksgiving has always been our best attempt at Norman Rockwell, that calm inhale before the mad days of December. Sure, we go to sleep Thanksgiving night bloated and stuffed -- I usually look three, maybe four months pregnant -- but the day has its heart in the right place: family, friends, food and gratitude.

Thanksgiving is what Christmas was like before malls.

Oh, we know commercialism runs the show the rest of the year, but we don't want our noses rubbed in it. Thanksgiving was always the line in the sand. Like hostage negotiators, we played a this-for-that game: we'll give you all of our credit cards on Friday, just leave Thanksgiving Thursday alone.

We make cultural villains -- Scrooge, the Grinch, Capra's Mr. Potter -- of those who violate that spirit.

I guess we should have seen it coming.

Last year, some mall stores opened at 8 p.m. The vanguard had made landfall.

"There was a line that was crossed. That's what frustrates me," said Hamilton Barber, 25. "This is just one more step into the craziness."

Hamilton's wife works at the mall. Here's her Thanksgiving schedule:

Leave-family-dinner-early/come-home/take-a-nap/wake-up-at-midnight/get-to-the-mall-at-1 a.m./close-the-store-in-order-to-restock-the-shelves/open-the-doors-again-at-6 a.m./leave-work-at-8 a.m./take-another-nap/maybe-eat-a-leftover-turkey-sandwich/go-back-into-work-at-5 p.m.-until-Black-Friday-ends-around-midnight.

Mall workers aren't indentured servants, pliable to the wishes of whatever group of millionaires made this decision. Labor is supposed to uplift and dignify. All this does is make rich people richer.

"Let the workers go home and be with their families," Hamilton said. "They used to get a day. Thursday was a holiday for everybody."

Many mall stores are staying open from Thanksgiving dinner all the way through 10 p.m. Friday. That's 28 straight hours.

It's also heresy.

Even in this post-post-modern world, we still hold onto a belief that some things are supposed to be set apart. We may not speak the language of high holiness anymore, but something inside us yearns for some quiet seventh-inning stretch, some Sabbath force field around the materialism and malling of America.

We want moments and days that honor our vertical selves and our souls, the humbled parts of ourselves. We need intentional days to practice gratitude.

There aren't many of those moments and days left.

Makes you scared at what's coming next.

Quick, somebody go check the locks on Christmas Day.

Contact David Cook at dcook@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6329. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter at DavidCookTFP.

Upcoming Events