Mary Beth Feldhaus, Andy Lipscomb, Richard Coleman and Ellyn Brooks, from left, try to watch announcements about the iPhone6 Tuesday at the Mac Authority at Hamilton Place.Anticipation turned to shock, then to ire and finally to TV test patterns as a group of Apple aficionados witnessed Tuesday's streaming keynote by the world's biggest technology company jerk to a stuttering, screeching halt.
The bottled water and cookies provided by the staff at the Hamilton Place MacAuthority disappeared along with Apple's livestream, which crashed again and again as the mostly over-50s fans leaned in to catch any snippet of information about Apple's expected new phones, watch and payment processing system.
"Don't worry, you'll be able to watch it later," a staffer reassured a frantic customer wearing a camouflage hat.
For a few precious moments, Apple CEO Tim Cook appeared on stage and appeared ready to announce something significant. But Cook's soft Alabama lilt was drowned out by the unexpected overdub of an assertive Chinese translator, confounding a small gathering of a half-dozen Mac enthusiasts watching together at Chattanooga's biggest mall.
And that was the good part. Shortly thereafter, the stream further disintegrated as the video moved forward and backward in time, sometimes with sound and often without, before halting completely and subjecting Apple to the full-throated scorn of Twitter.
"You'd think Apple, being the richest company in the world, could afford to spend a few extra bucks to ensure a bulletproof livestream," tweeted Ryan McCaffrey, executive editor at IGN.com.
For long intervals, visitors to Apple's site saw only the message "Access denied: You don't have permission to access 'http://www.apple.com/live/2014-sept-event' on this server."
Deprived of a live feed, viewers turned first to their iPhones and iPads, then to each other as those with an Internet connection described bits of information gleaned from Twitter. There are two new phones. One is bigger. But how much will it cost? Does it have a sapphire screen?
In vain, the staff attempted to boot up Apple's signature event on an iPad, an iPhone and a Mac Pro. As if on cue, a news release issued by Apple arrived in employees' inboxes, apologizing for the poor quality of what was expected to be one of the year's biggest product reveals.
"It's on their end," a staffer said with a sigh. "They're saying the technical difficulties are on their end."
Yes, even a technology company announcing a cutting-edge technological breakthrough can experience technical difficulties.
The Apple faithful appeared pensive. Though the event offered glimpses of greatness to those who didn't give up in frustration in favor of the food court, those who stayed said they were holding off on a buying decision until they held one of Cook's new creations in their own hand.
Mary Beth Feldhaus, a retired teacher who has used Apple computers since the Apple II first appeared in the late 1970s, said she preferred to see Cupertino's products in person before making a decision.
"I'd have to hold it in my hand," she said, fingering her now-obsolete iPhone 4S. "We'll see."
Contact staff writer Ellis Smith at 423-757-6315 or esmith@timesfreepress.com with tips and documents.