When life hands you lemons, the saying goes, ask for salt and tequila.
No, wait, that's not how it goes, but only a sourpuss would take away our zest for wordplay (and tequila shots).
It would be a fruitless attempt anyway since today is National Lemonade Day, a day - or possibly two - set aside to celebrate lemons.
We're a bit confused by the timing because National Lemonade Day falls either in May or August, depending on the website you favor.
LemonadeDay.org insists that the first Sunday of May is the true date to mark the occasion. The May date has been celebrated since 2007 when founder Michael Holthouse set up a program to teach kids the principles of entrepreneurship by helping them start up their very own business, a lemonade stand.
But other online sources list Aug. 20 as National Lemonade Day, and several restaurant chains celebrate with promotions for charity.
We say why take a stand for one when you can celebrate both: One in spring, when an unseasonably warm day leaves you wishing for a nice cold beverage with some pucker appeal. One in summer, to remind Starbucks that we're not ready to be dragged into Pumpkin Spice Latte land just yet.
So unofficial or not, we're celebrating today. In the spring, we'll mix, pour and drink some more.
Want some ideas for how to celebrate? Consider these your five lemon aids for the day.
Drink up for a good cause
At least three area restaurants are participating in National Lemonade Day for charity.
-Auntie Anne's, the pretzel people, will donate $1 to the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for every cup of lemonade it sells today, up to $10,000. Since 2011, Auntie Anne's has raised more than $3.7 million for ALSF, which fights childhood cancer, through annual in-store fundraising campaigns, coin canister donations, local event collaboration and the company's annual CARES Golf Tournament.
-Red Robin is also partnering with Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation. Today, in-house lemonade stands will be serving free samples of the restaurant's signature beverage, Freckled Lemonade, for customer donations. A blend of strawberries and Minute Maid lemonade, Freckled Lemonade has been a customer favorite for more than 20 years.
-Ruby Tuesday will offer its handcrafted nonalcoholic lemonades at just 25 cents today and donate all proceeds to No Kid Hungry, a national organization working to end childhood hunger. The 25-cent lemonade promotion continues through the end of the month, and the company is also encouraging guests to make a donation to No Kid Hungry following their meal. Guests will receive a voucher based on their donation amounts for either a free dessert, free appetizer or free burger. Vouchers are valid from Sept. 1 through Dec. 31.
Every dollar donated to No Kid Hungry can help feed a child 10 meals, according to the organization, which connects kids to existing nutrition programs like the national school breakfast program and the summer meals program.
The lemonades are handcrafted and made to order with real fruit and juices, available in strawberry, raspberry, wild berry, peach, mango and blueberry flavors.
Ruby Tuesday also has spiked versions of the flavored lemonades made with Tito's Handmade Vodka or Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey for $4.99.
Drink up just because you like it
It's not as ubiquitous as sweet tea on restaurant menus, but there's plenty of lemonade out there - from frozen lemonade at Burger King to specialty vendors at Chattanooga Market.
Chick-fil-A reports that it makes "6.5 million gallons of this golden goodness each year" and that a medium serving provides 45 percent of your daily intake of vitamin C.
Barbecue places are also reliable sources for finding lemonade since these two summer staples make a good pairing. Customers rave about the barbecue and banana pudding at Shuford's Smokehouse, but owner Jeff Davis says lemonade is also a favorite. It has been on the menu since 1986, he says, "and we sell a lot of it."
Listen to Beyonce's "Lemonade" album
The pop star's sixth solo album, "Lemonade" dropped in 2016 and caused a stir for its "oh, no, he didn't" look into husband Jay-Z's infidelity. Cuts like "Sorry" provided a window into the relationship - "Looking at my watch, he shoulda been home/Today I regret the night I put that ring on" - and the line about "Becky with the good hair" created frenzied speculation about the identity of Jay-Z's mistress.
Beyond the voyeuristic appeal, it's a solid album. "Lemonade" made several music publications' best-of lists for the year, including No. 1 in Rolling Stone, and won two Grammy Awards out of nine nominations.
Enjoy a Lemony Snicket book or movie
The author himself throws cautions against reading "A Series of Unfortunate Events," the best-known series of books by Lemony Snicket, the pen name for American author Daniel Handler.
"The Bad Beginning" is the title of the first volume in the 13-book series (13, of course!). "Please read something else" says the jacket, further advising that the contents may be ill-suited for someone of "fragile temperament."
Yes, they're meant for children, but adults also delight in the bittersweet adventures that befall the tragically orphaned Baudelaire siblings and their travails with their greedy uncle, Count Olaf, played by Jim Carrey in a 2004 film adaptation and Neil Patrick Harris in a three-season series now midway through an Emmy-nominated run on Netflix.
Tell somebody a lemon joke, with a twist
Q: What do you do when life hands you melons?
A: Get to the doctor. You have dyslexia.
Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281.