BARRY COURTER: Lisa, so I guess it's fair to assume you've been in training, working on your Soddy karate. You know, doing some aerobics and working the heavy bag with your elbows and pointy shoes. 'Tis the season without reason and all that.
British newspaper The Guardian supplies these winning jokes from this year's Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the world's largest arts festival.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, there are two artists coming to town this week who should appeal to you. They are both very good and they lean toward a country sound, but neither of those is the reason I'm guessing you might find them interesting. Can you guess?
By Lisa Denton and Barry Courter LISA DENTON: You know, Barry, if we decided to limit our concert attendance to Grammy Award-winning musicians this week, we would still have to get to three shows.
LISA DENTON: Barry, I have looked into the future, and it has given me whiplash. Actually, it's the more specific condition I call holiday whiplash.
Good morning, readers, Welcome to ChattanoogaNow, your weekly guide to arts and entertainment events in the Tennessee Valley.
LISA DENTON: Barry, I know you're not a big, big fan of country music, but Vince Gill's next show may be one you should see. He will be here Friday for A Song for the Children, a fundraiser for the Children's Advocacy Center of Hamilton County.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, what do Gilda Radner, Harold Ramis, Brian Doyle-Murray, Tina Fey, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Martin Short and Elaine May have in common? And while "people who have never been in my kitchen" is technically correct, it is not the answer I'm looking for.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I know you're tech-savvy — I saw you use your iPhone as a makeup mirror the other day — and I know you like T Bone Burnett, so I'm betting you are as excited as I am about the big concert coming up Saturday as part of RiverRocks. Burnett will be performing live via Internet hookup with one of my favorite new acts, The Secret Sisters. He produced their debut CD.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, we have a lot of very generous people who do a lot of very nice things in our community, and Fletcher Bright is right there at the top of the list. He has for years given his time, money and support to numerous events and organizations without asking for anything in return, at least that I know of.
LISA DENTON: Barry, I don't know if we can get tickets this late in the game, but Sean Astin's visit for First Things First's 15th anniversary celebration Tuesday makes me at least want to watch "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy again.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, get lost. I mean at one of the many corn mazes in the area, of course. They have popped up everywhere. Some have petting zoos, playgrounds, pumpkin patches, wagon rides, food and inflatables. You can literally lose yourself in all the fun.
You can't keep a secret on a farm. The potatoes have eyes, and the corn is all ears.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I'm pretty excited. The Secret Sisters are coming back to town. They were here for Riverbend last year, and they will open this year's Patten Performances series Tuesday at the UTC Fine Arts Center.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I don't know about you, but I'm only about halfway through the list of festivals Susan Pierce compiled in Sunday's paper. Once again, the fall season in our area is eat up with festivals.
LISA DENTON: Barry, this is the last Monday in August, so that means we're heading into Labor Day weekend. I have to say, I'd welcome a rest from my labor.
When I say that Steve's Landing is one of my favorite places to eat, I need to throw in a disclaimer. It's one of my favorite places to eat in the spring and fall.
LISA DENTON: Barry, don't tell my brother, 'cause I'd hate to give him credit for it, but I'm secretly a fan of Ted Nugent's music, and Richie is the reason.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, have you ever seen or heard of a new concept and your first thought was "That's the dumbest idea ever?" Wait, before you answer, I just realized someone proposed this column idea at some point, so I'm sure you have. Anyway, I was going to add that after your original reaction, you thought, "Well, that could work."
LISA DENTON: Barry, I won't pretend that I'm a big follower of the NFL. My last real thought about football was wondering how much money Eli Manning and Deion Sanders must be getting paid to wear fairy wings in those DirecTV commercials. Seriously, that's got to be a wad of cash.
Vaudeville Cafe will crown a Mouth of the South next week.
LISA DENTON: Barry, I know you think this puts me on the fast track to Crazy Town, but come Thursday I'll have the car gassed up and ready to go to the World's Longest Yard Sale along Highway 127.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I have to confess that while I've seen parts of a Blue Man Group performance, I really have little idea what they do. I think it's part circus, part Vaudeville, part Cirque, part live music and who knows what else. And, they are blue. I'm mean, Veruca Salt blue, only bluer.
LISA DENTON: Barry, if it wouldn't hurt your standing in the He Man Club, you might want to get your ticket for She: An Expo for Women, coming up this weekend at the Chattanooga Convention Center.
LISA DENTON: Barry, I won't even pretend that it's the biggest or most important event coming up this week, but if I'm being honest (and how often does that happen?), I have to say I'm most excited about Cow Appreciation Day coming up at all area Chick-f
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I know you bought your lakefront property up in Soddy-Daisy because of the year-round view, but this week is special for you, isn't it? You become the center of the universe even more so than usual, right?
The organization sponsoring the Fourth of July celebration in Soddy-Daisy on Wednesday is looking to hook a few catfish lovers.
Bubble-wrap fireworks have always been a safe but raucous way for visitors to mark Independence Day at the Creative Discovery Museum.
The best thing about Fourth of July fireworks is that they're seldom a single source of entertainment. Around the tri-state region in the next week, you can find them capping off days filled with car shows, drive-in movies, baseball games, barbecues and concerts.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, you might think that Riverbend ending would signal a slowdown in events, but really it's more like the beginning.
Fourth of July celebrations get an early start in the region this year, with Rainsville, Ala., primed for its Crossroads Freedom Fest on Saturday.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, everybody's favorite dancing war hero will be in town Saturday at the Tivoli. J.R. Martinez will be there as part of Dancing With the Stars Chattanooga. I like him. What an amazing jo
LISA DENTON: Barry, at the risk of starting Chapter 2 of "Lisa's Little Bitty Bladder Book," I do want to tell you about my latest happy discovery.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, one of my favorite funny songs is called "Talkin' Seattle Grunge Rock Blues" by Todd Snider.
Jenkins Restaurant and Deli has been a fixture in Cleveland, Tenn., for 36 years. Tucked into a small shopping center at the intersection of Mouse Creek Road and Keith Street, it is an unassuming place without the flashy trappings of the chain restaurants nearby. Locals know it for a couple of house specialties on a broader menu of American staples.
LISA DENTON: Barry, we've got a long holiday weekend coming up. Do you think we should pace ourselves this week? I'd hate to be tuckered out when I get an extra day to galavant.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, it appears we are inFESTed with events this time of year. We've already had a Who-Fest and a HubFest and now this week, we have a Roots Fest, a Maifest and a MooFest.
LISA DENTON: Not to get too personal, Barry, but I'm wondering how long has it been since you last shook your moneymaker? I ask because you'll get a chance to get your groove on when the Nightfall summer concert series returns to Miller Plaza on Friday.
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, this looks like a really good week for music, especially if you are partial to traditional music.
No matter how enticing that steak, chicken breast or pork chop, your entree would be pretty lonely sitting solo on the plate. Time to introduce the sides.
More than 400 Civil War soldiers are interred at West Hill Cemetery in Dalton, Ga., according to historians. This weekend, some of their stories, as well as those of other historical figures from the time period, will be recounted by re-enactors in a Spirit Walk.