Lost in all the talk of "miracles", "luck", and "fluke" plays is the fact that Auburn dominated the majority of Saturday's game. The first half went decisively in AU's favor. Particularly a first quarter that was the worst since the first quarter of last year's South Carolina game. Georgia played better for about nine-minutes in the fourth quarter. That's 15% of the game we won leaving 85% that we lost. We should have lost by more than five-points.
As for the miracle, the fluke, or the immaculate deflection depending on preference...I'm not ready to chalk that play up to bad luck or any kind of astrological doom and hocus-pocus. When we lined up I said aloud, "Oh (expletive deleted), we're only rushing three." SEC quarterbacks raise your hand if you've made hay against Georgia when we rushed only three down linemen. Nick Marshall, welcome to the club. Zach Mettenberger, good to see you again. Austyn Carta-Samuels, you're the guy from Vanderbilt right? Only this time, we only rushed two and dropped a lineman (Bailey or Smith, not sure which one) out to spy Marshall. Todd Grantham apparently liked the odds of a 300 pound lineman chasing down Nick Marshall in the open field if he decided to tuck it and run. Grantham also likes the Washington Generals chances against the Globetrotters. Then the defensive backs displayed no situational awareness as Tray tried to intercept the ball and Josh, for reasons that will never be understood, broke up the interception attempt by his teammate and tipped the ball up like a volleyball player setting it up for a spike. It's amazing how "unlucky" you get when you do the same stupid stuff over and over again.
If you want an idea of how low the bar has been set for our defensive unit consider this, following Saturday's game on the Plains I have heard several people comment that the Bulldog Defense "looked better" against Auburn. We gave up 43 points and 566 yards, but hey...we got a few stops and held 'em under 50. Participation badges for everyone.
I don't typically discuss officiating and questionable calls after a game. There has been much discussion about Murray's knee on that final UGA touchdown, many of you state with some degree of certainty that he was down. I will admit that I don't know if he was or wasn't. I didn't have access to any angles not presented. Since I do not possess the instinct of seeing what is not shown, I must ask if Georgia actually should have been awarded possession on that stripped ball and apparent fumble recovery that was ruled in Auburn's favor earlier in the game. This is why I don't typically mention close calls by the refs. Everybody focuses on one call that goes against them and conveniently forgets those close calls that favored them. Typically, these things balance out in the end.
"It came out of the sky landed just a little south of Moline..."
If I can safely include myself in the collective...I am now considered a yahoo. That is an upgrade from riff raff. And all these years later I prove my high school guidance counselor wrong. Sweet nectar!
What's this about computers that will not allow access to "non-work sites"? Talking football, listening to some good jams, and watching videos of waterskiing monkeys is the whole purpose of the interwebs. I understand there is a lot of porn out there as well, but how would I know anything about that?
9er, I nod my head in reverence in your general direction. The legends of snakes in the boat chute, or tunnel de amour if you please, was just an excuse to play grab-ass with the little ladies or big ol' girls depending on preference. The time I wasted trying to impress the ladies with my mad skee ball skills was all in jest.
(Insert obligatory sports reference here.)
You know, during the course of the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry on five different occasions the game has ended in a 0-0 tie. That being said, I don't think anyone would be surprised to see seventy points on the board at the end of the day Saturday. Auburn is doing their thing and doing it well. Georgia's defense has been better against the run than the pass. Of course given our performance against the pass this season, that is setting the bar pretty low. Offensively, we are one-piece-at-a-time getting guys back in place. Dawg 747 mentioned the likely return of Chris Conley. Todd Gurley should be getting back into form and Michael Bennett has looked good in his return. If we plan ahead and bring plenty of cortisone, duct tape and bailing wire we just might have enough to keep the offensive unit together for sixty-minutes of football. I'm not pessimistic about our chances Saturday, but my optimism has a very cautious flavor to it.
Paschall picked Auburn to win Saturday. That leaves Webb Wright's possum as area Georgia fans last shot to pick up an upset pick from the region's high-profile prognosticators.
For the historical SEC Draft, of course I am going Herschel all the way. Herschel ate lightning and crapped thunder. We all know this. However, Vince Dooley called Cam Newton's run in 2010 the most dominant single-season performance he has ever witnessed. This is coming from Herschel's college coach. That's something to think about.
I think the name of the roller coaster at Lake Winnie is the Cannonball. And all that stuff about snakes biting people's eyes out in the boat chute tunnel is just the result of some goofy kids trying to scare their younger siblings.
Herschel Walker's sweat still qualifies as a lethal weapon. Old Number 34 is what they call it on the black market. You take a vile-full of toss sweep sweat mixed with a Duncan Hines packet and you've got yourself a batch of yellow cake kickassium. According to the State Department, Iran has been trying to get their hands on this stuff for years.
I've been trying to get all fired up about posting in the 5-at-10 this afternoon. So the only logical thing to do was drive home and vandalize my own house, but I did it in a manner that makes it look like Jay did it. "The Draft Rulz!" "War Eagle!" "GD Sukks!" This plan is bulletproof.
All this talk out of Hotlanta about the old site and the new stadium has the politicos and land developers producing mass quantities of Grade A bullstuff. On the Southside, the talk is of knocking down the old stadium and developing a cosmopolitan utopia that will have the yuppies leaving Buckhead en masse for Georgia Avenue. That area hasn't been developed in fifteen years, but we're on it. In Cobb County, taxpayers are being promised that they will get a huge return on their investment. This isn't just going to be a new ballpark, this is going to be like Wrigleyville. I love the smell of snake oil in the morning.
I too will be reading Mike Tyson's book. Tyson is one of the more interesting characters in the history of sports. On the surface he seems like another palooka that is no smarter than a bag of hammers. However, there's quite a bit going on in that head of his. Tyson is a man who simultaneously exhibits great pride along with self loathing. One moment Mike is calm and introspective. The next, volatile and raging. Say what you will about Tyson, but he makes for an interesting case study.
On the issue of sports memorabilia...How is it that Herschel Walker only played at Georgia for three-years yet there are thousands of his "game worn" jerseys on the market from his days between the hedges?
The rich get richer. The Wall Street Journal, a newspaper of note in spite of the fact that they don't run Snuffy Smith comics, ran a story about Alabama Football's new best friend, none other than Phil Knight. We've talked about Phil here before and gawked at the new facilities Oregon built with his money. Phil was in Tuscaloosa Saturday night decked out in Crimson and White. Plus, the University of Nike website used to redirect you to Oregon's website. Now it links to Bama's. I think we can all agree that it's good to see a spunky little upstart program like Alabama get a boost from the shoe guru.
Speaking of Bama, Nick Saban recently announced he was going to be a grandfather for the first time. Saban was wearing a genuine smile and could almost be described as giggly. Seeing Saban that happy was like seeing Darth Vader rolling around on a trampoline playing with puppies.
All this talk of Atlanta area traffic and old stomping grounds has led me to start a one-man campaign to bring the Braves to Blue Ridge. The biggest little town in north-central Georgia. And no traffic problems to speak of. Blue Ridge has more antique shops than you can shake a stick at and three full-service grocery stores. I need to keep this campaign focused or else those people over in Blairsville will start trying to horn-in on the action. The Blue Ridge Braves, catch the fever!
Jay, for a ballpark guesstimate on how much Glazer and Incognito spend on tanning supplies and hair removal gear I think we can set the over/under at a figure roughly equal to the gross domestic product of Armenia. The fact that neither of those meatheads was wearing a T-shirt that read "Tap Out" or "Afflicted" during that interview means that the folks in wardrobe put in a little overtime.
As for your hypothetical Lundquist-Musberger fight, The Rumble of the Ramblers, I'm rooting for Verne and I think he takes it. Verne is goofy and gets lost in his own musings, but he seems like a good guy. I never cared for Musberger. Verne could distract Brent with old man speak like "look at the yabos on that little trollop." When Brent turns to get an eyeful, Verne lowers the boom. "Oh My!"
Not much to report from the UGA game Saturday. A very forgettable first half followed by a stronger showing in the second half and we finally got a chance to put in some backups. Apart from Murray surpassing Wuerffel in the career touchdown category, the big news of the day was a Jonathon Rumph sighting. He's real, he actually exists.
Speaking of Auburn's offense, here's an idea for a drinking game: anytime some astute observer uses the phrase one-dimensional to describe the Plainsmen you take a shot. On the other hand, alcohol poisoning is a serious issue so forget that. There is no denying that the Auburn offense is one-dimensional, but they are working the hell out of that dimension. The offense at Auburn reminds me of what Frank Zappa said about Elmore James, "He always played that same lick, but you get the feeling he really meant it." Frank also noted: "Jazz isn't dead, it just smells funny."
If any of you folks here at the 5-at-10 understand the new targeting rules in college football and the absolute randomness of their enforcement, I would be very appreciative of your insight.
I tried to watch that Incognito interview last night. However, with Jay Glazer and Richie Incognito in the same room the smell of Axe body spray was so overwhelming in emanated from my television.
The Braves are moving to Cobb County and hopefully the Falcons will play out the remainder of the season in Area 51. If a football team stinks in highly fortified government compound in the desert, do they make a sound?
A superhero power I would like to see in Athens, Georgia is the superhuman healing ability of Wolverine. Wolverine could tear his ACL in the first quarter and be back in time for the second half.
Any comparison of Richie Incognito to the Incredible Hulk are unfair to the Hulk. The Hulk may have thrown cars when he became angry, but he never hurled racist epithets or sexually harassed volunteers at a golf tournament with a club. The fact that so many in the football fraternity seem sympathetic to Incognito makes me question any understanding of football culture that I thought I possessed.
Jay, you got a little philosophical on that question about the Mocs and the moving goalpost that is experience. Don't forget to extinguish the incense when you leave the office this afternoon. Hooo-mmmmmm. Maaaaaal-zhaaaan.
Jay, as luck would have it, I specialize in answering rhetorical questions. "Hey, what ever happened to Thomas Dolby?" In the early nineties Dolby invented a new file that was small like a midi but could carry downloadable content. Basically, all the downloaded songs and sounds that people have on their cellphones is made possible by a technology invented by Thomas Dolby. He made a few bucks off that deal. Also, early in Dolby's career as a studio musician he played the keyboard on big hits by Foreigner and Def Leppard. If you owned a radio in the 1980s, you heard more of Thomas Dolby than you might think.
Continuing the theme of rhetorical questions answered..."Wow, what happened to country music?" Nashville killed it. Murder on Music Row. It's bad enough that the songs are homogenized crap taken from the same big, bland hopper, but apparently no one in Nashville even knows how to work a soundboard these days. The couple of live performances I saw last night sounded awful on multiple fronts. And when I saw that Vince Gill and Alison Krauss have been relegated to singing back-up for Taylor Swift I couldn't take anymore. I did enjoy one shot of George Strait sitting in the audience clearly thinking to himself, what the hell am I doing here? I don't need this(expletive deleted).
Oh yeah, various and miscellaneous sports thoughts and related subject matter...Go Dawgs!
...stay on the scene, like a sex machine...